“I don’t have anger management problems! I manage to get angry JUST FINE thank you!” - just heard from an angry lil sprite on the show American Dragon playing on tv behind me. Best. Quote. EVER.
Well, Dad said that if I went to work with him, I’d make 100grand! Today he came through on that promise.heh.
And I got awarded my wee lil red umbrella too! Spiffy no?
So Moosie, Dorothy and I stole grampa’s “million dollah” box of candy at dinner in the airport restaurant and handed them out to people as they got off the airplane. hehehehehe.
We were all “welcome to kenai!”
they were all “uh…we live here.”
We were all “so do WE! awesome! Have 100grand!”
they were all “…..thanks….”
Then we ran cuz we ran outa candy and there were more people coming.
Hey - small town living - gotta make your OWN fun! I was just ’spreading the wealth’!
Today - in a few hours - some MAN is coming to my HOUSE to POKE ME.
WITH a NEEDLE.
Oh getcha heads outa the gutter! *L* A paramedical exam is apparently necessary for someone, anyone, who reads my height and weight on insurance paperwork. I’m not surprised really. What I am, however, is HUNGRY! because since he is gonna POKE me with a NEEDLE I must FAST for 12 hours.
I’m sure he’s a VERY nice guy - but he’s coming to my house, ARMED WITH A NEEDLE that he will POKE me with, and a little cup I must PEE in, and blood pressure cuffs and a scale and a measuring tape and…
They’re sending a MAN to FAT GIRLS house after FORCING HER TO FAST for 12 hours.
I may just eat him. “good morning Ms…” RARCHOMP!
He’d better not be skinny. If they’re gonna STARVE ME for 12 hours, the least they can do is send me one with meat on his bones.
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PS. The ‘killing snails’ in the title is in reference to this post by Dad Gone Mad which apparently has gotten the silly internets in an uproar for his little boy being a little boy. Seriously, internets, lighten up. If killing snails was a crime, all them people using pesticides would be criminals after poisoning the lil fuckers. Not to mention, if he were REALLY raising a sociopath, would he tell you? sheesh.
myself, I prefer my snails drenched in butter and garlic, baked and served on a platter in a French courtyard by a cute waiter with a lovely accent and a thing for fat american girls…
mmmmmmmmmmm snails…
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PPS: And no, I don’t really club baby seals. Well, not anymore, though I have fond memories of the little *squish* sound the club always made right before the *crunch*…
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PPPS: Oh for crissakes, i was KIDDING about the squish sound! It’s more of a “thudsquick”
