CRAP!

Crap fuckityfuckin’ CRAP!

It’s all my mother’s fault. She insisted. So finally, because I AM A GOOD DAUGHTER who lives to MAKE MY MOM HAPPY, I succumbed to her desires and wishes and pleadings and demandings and it’s ALL HER FAULT BECAUSE MY MOMMY MADE ME DO IT!

What is her fault? I entered the local Library’s Writer’s Night writing contest. Which would be fine, except that the winners of said contest are chosen and expected to attend the Writer’s Night and READ THEIR WINNING PEICES OUTLOUD. In front of people. WITH A MICROPHONE. In. Front. Of. People!

You see where this is going, right? My mother, who is a better public speaker then I could ever hope to be, as well as a fantastic writer, wasn’t chosen. I – the sucky writer who cannot speak in front of people without getting sick and shakey and freaking the fuck out – had a piece chosen. A piece that is THREE PAGES LONG and must be read OUT LOUD in a room FULL OF PEOPLE.

FUCK!

It’s so my mother’s fault. She’s said she’ll read for me if I chicken out – and I an hear her making clucking noises and stuff already and omg people – freaking. the hell. out. I get SICK! SICK, I say! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Wonder how many times I can say “FUCK!” in my bio I have to write and submit asap…

(and yup – it’s an honor to be chosen (i won i won i won!) and YAY and all that stuff too! But really- CRAP!)