Land o'Lessa

Imagine that I owe you some money.
Imagine that this comes from three separate accounts, each of which is an equal amount.
Imagine now that I opt to pay this money. (I know, shock, right?)

Now, supposed I opt to write a single check, instead of three checks, and include on the memo each of the account numbers, AND include a note saying how to divide it, what account numbers it goes too as well, just to be SURE you get the picture. Because I’m already sure that there are idiots working for this organization, so let’s make it easy, right? Right.

Tell me – would YOU be an idiot and simply pay off one of the accounts and then issue a refund for the rest of the money, leaving the other two accounts unpaid?

Fucking idiots. Now I think I’ll just refuse to pay the other two until they get their heads out of their asses and bill me appropriately. As it is, they issued the refund in the primary name on the bill, instead of to the person who wrote the damn check, me. Which means I have to drag him off to the bank, have him cash it, and give ME the money.

Extra points if you can think of which government organization employs such idiocy… fuckin’ idiots.

Ready for your 15 minutes of fame? Desperate to claim it on the Reality TV Circuit? You’re not alone – and here’s your chance! Here’s a listing of some of the upcoming open casting calls:

Solitary 3.0
The humdaddy of intense and unusual reality competitions ever, FOX Reality’s Solitary 3.0 is looking for new castmates ready to meet Val and put themselves through the ultimate torture test to win $50k in version 3.0. Click here for more info.

What Not to Wear
Desperate for your chance at a fashion makeover with Stacy and Clinton to give style advice – and the all important $5000 cash for a New York Shopping spree? They’re looking for self nominations of fashion disasters for the upcoming season! Find out how to nominate yourself here.

Cook Yourself Thin!
What to eat your favorite foods without the high calorie counts? Right now they are casting women to be on their new healthy cooking show for a major cable network called Cook Yourself Thin. So if you’re hoping to lose that last 10-15 pounds through healthier cooking, click here.

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER!
That’s right – it’s a hot new casting call in LA for people who want to be part of the dance competition based on Dirty Dancing. INORITE? This makes me all kinds of giddy! Lionsgate and the producers of Hell’s Kitchen are looking for fresh new dancers to play Johnny and Baby and is seeking dancers of all styles who appear between the ages of 21 and 27. 9 men and 9 women will pair up and compete together. The first open casting all is July 2, 2008 so click here for all the info and be sure to check that link for more calls in Chicago, New York and Miami.

Janet Jackson’s Prodigy
Janet Jackson and famed choreographer Gil Duldulao will be kicking off a nationwide search for performers with raw talent. This competition reality TV series is open to males and females at least 18 years old who appear to be between 18 and 22 and who exhibit superior talent in combined singing and dancing. Click here for more info!

The boy has missed his shopping trip with nana and papa for a couple weeks because of work, so they decided to grab him after he got off this afternoon for dinner. About an hour after they left, this happened via text:

From Boy: HELP ME!
Me: hahahahahha.
Boy: grrr.
Me: You’ll survive.
Boy: Nooooooooo!!

From Papa’s Phone: The Boy is being mean to us!

At which time I started laughing hysterically, because it amused me so.

Then my phone rings, call from Boy – I let it go to voice mail, because I was call him at the same time – voice mail is: “She put me on hold. ON HOLD!” with Nana and Papa laughing in the background “I’m gonna get you when I get home…”

Then I call them back.

Nana: The Boy’s being mean!
Me: You know, if you three can’t behave, I’m going to have to go along and chaperone the next time…
Nana: Tell the boy!
Me: (Repeats.)
Boy: Aw HELL no….
Nana: GASP! That’s the SECOND time he’s cursed in front of me. Bring the soap!

Then, when he got home (ice cream and cookies in tow! Yum!)(Yes, I know that I said I don’t have a sweet tooth, but these are double stuffed oreos with PEANUT BUTTER. Which is totally different. They’re not sweet. Nope.) he tells me this:

Nana can be DIRTY mom! See, I stole papa’s magnifying glass, and he said that’s how we make Nana’s boobs bigger, and then Nana stole it and put it at his GROIN and said “A girl can dream” and did I mention this was in the CHECKOUT LINE AT THE STORE and the workers were all laughing and OMG MOM!

Apparently he expects such comments from Papa, but Nana fighting back is mortifying. *snicker* I offered to go along and chaperone again and he said no way – because Nana and I and Papa together would be SURE to embarrass him! HAHAH!

Don’t you wish you had MY family?! You know you do. It’s ok to be jealous. *grin*

So, that whole better living through apathy thing has me doing odd little things every once in a while. Like trying new foods that I normally avoid because I am a meat and potatoes girl and dammit pass the A1 sauce! But now every once in a while I find myself grabbing something like an avocado just to see if my tastes have changed. Eh, they’re alright, but whatever. So now I have a slice or two on occasion, and sometimes even eat some ‘green shit’ when having Mexican dinner with the parents.

It seemed like everyone I ran into was raving about something else, recently. Sweet potato fries. People have been RAVING. brush them with a little olive oil, salt and pepper and bake them like fries and eat. Ok. So I decided to try it because the internets, they assured me they were fantastic.

Raving freakin lunitics, the whole lot of them. That’s not to say they were ok – sweet with a bit of salt and pepper to cut the sweet a little, and good for you too. I’ve simply discovered, or rather rediscovered, something though. I don’t really have a sweet tooth. I know, shocking right? I’ve always been the salty fats crunchy chips kinda girl. The bloody things were TOO sweet and I couldn’t eat much of them at all. I want savory. I want mildly spiced beef steak and mashed potatoes smothered in butter to go along with it and if they’re on sale, some corn on the cop drenched in butter and salt because nothing – NOTHING tastes better then that… I want chicken (boneless/skinless tenderloins, of course) with rice and gravy, I want MEAT and STARCHES and I WANT ‘EM NOW!

Ahem. Anyway. If you have a sweet tooth – sweet potato fries are good and good for you. Enjoy. And pass the A1, will ya?

On Thursday night, we watched as yet again one guy and one girl was eliminated from the So You Think You Can Dance competition. Awww! The upside is that we also got to see Quest, a hiphop crew that includes three SYTYCD alumni: Hok, Dominic, and Ryan! Hurray!

But before all that, we were treated to a group Contemporary Performance with the top 16 – it was full of funky costums and Mia Michael’s weirdness and was just fun to watch!

Though I still wonder what was up with Cat Deely’s dress and that weird neck ruffle… But! On to those who had to dance for their lives.

On the girls side, Comfort hiphoped her way to safety, as did Kourtni Lind, who was also a repeat bottom three-er. Chelsea had what I thought was the strongest solo on the girls side, but she was summarily tossed without any candy coating whatsoever. Nigel just said “It’s the end of the line” and she was gone.

For the guys, Thayne broke out the ‘Jovi which made Cat’s heart flutter, as well as the judges, apparently. Matt seemed to have taken all the feedback to heart, and his solo was very strong and showed he does have passion in there somewhere that’s starting to come out. And no one was surprised when Chris was told this was the end of the line as the judges have been ragging on him since the first week.

As a result, Comfort will now dance with Thayne – an interesting pairing for sure. Let’s hope he’s a strong enough guy for Comfort – I’m sure she’s sick of being in the bottom three because of her partner’s weaknesses.