IDIOTS.

Imagine that I owe you some money.
Imagine that this comes from three separate accounts, each of which is an equal amount.
Imagine now that I opt to pay this money. (I know, shock, right?)

Now, supposed I opt to write a single check, instead of three checks, and include on the memo each of the account numbers, AND include a note saying how to divide it, what account numbers it goes too as well, just to be SURE you get the picture. Because I’m already sure that there are idiots working for this organization, so let’s make it easy, right? Right.

Tell me – would YOU be an idiot and simply pay off one of the accounts and then issue a refund for the rest of the money, leaving the other two accounts unpaid?

Fucking idiots. Now I think I’ll just refuse to pay the other two until they get their heads out of their asses and bill me appropriately. As it is, they issued the refund in the primary name on the bill, instead of to the person who wrote the damn check, me. Which means I have to drag him off to the bank, have him cash it, and give ME the money.

Extra points if you can think of which government organization employs such idiocy… fuckin’ idiots.

Afternoon Text Messages.

The boy has missed his shopping trip with nana and papa for a couple weeks because of work, so they decided to grab him after he got off this afternoon for dinner. About an hour after they left, this happened via text:

From Boy: HELP ME!
Me: hahahahahha.
Boy: grrr.
Me: You’ll survive.
Boy: Nooooooooo!!

From Papa’s Phone: The Boy is being mean to us!

At which time I started laughing hysterically, because it amused me so.

Then my phone rings, call from Boy – I let it go to voice mail, because I was call him at the same time – voice mail is: “She put me on hold. ON HOLD!” with Nana and Papa laughing in the background “I’m gonna get you when I get home…”

Then I call them back.

Nana: The Boy’s being mean!
Me: You know, if you three can’t behave, I’m going to have to go along and chaperone the next time…
Nana: Tell the boy!
Me: (Repeats.)
Boy: Aw HELL no….
Nana: GASP! That’s the SECOND time he’s cursed in front of me. Bring the soap!

Then, when he got home (ice cream and cookies in tow! Yum!)(Yes, I know that I said I don’t have a sweet tooth, but these are double stuffed oreos with PEANUT BUTTER. Which is totally different. They’re not sweet. Nope.) he tells me this:

Nana can be DIRTY mom! See, I stole papa’s magnifying glass, and he said that’s how we make Nana’s boobs bigger, and then Nana stole it and put it at his GROIN and said “A girl can dream” and did I mention this was in the CHECKOUT LINE AT THE STORE and the workers were all laughing and OMG MOM!

Apparently he expects such comments from Papa, but Nana fighting back is mortifying. *snicker* I offered to go along and chaperone again and he said no way – because Nana and I and Papa together would be SURE to embarrass him! HAHAH!

Don’t you wish you had MY family?! You know you do. It’s ok to be jealous. *grin*

….huh.

So, that whole better living through apathy thing has me doing odd little things every once in a while. Like trying new foods that I normally avoid because I am a meat and potatoes girl and dammit pass the A1 sauce! But now every once in a while I find myself grabbing something like an avocado just to see if my tastes have changed. Eh, they’re alright, but whatever. So now I have a slice or two on occasion, and sometimes even eat some ‘green shit’ when having Mexican dinner with the parents.

It seemed like everyone I ran into was raving about something else, recently. Sweet potato fries. People have been RAVING. brush them with a little olive oil, salt and pepper and bake them like fries and eat. Ok. So I decided to try it because the internets, they assured me they were fantastic.

Raving freakin lunitics, the whole lot of them. That’s not to say they were ok – sweet with a bit of salt and pepper to cut the sweet a little, and good for you too. I’ve simply discovered, or rather rediscovered, something though. I don’t really have a sweet tooth. I know, shocking right? I’ve always been the salty fats crunchy chips kinda girl. The bloody things were TOO sweet and I couldn’t eat much of them at all. I want savory. I want mildly spiced beef steak and mashed potatoes smothered in butter to go along with it and if they’re on sale, some corn on the cop drenched in butter and salt because nothing – NOTHING tastes better then that… I want chicken (boneless/skinless tenderloins, of course) with rice and gravy, I want MEAT and STARCHES and I WANT ‘EM NOW!

Ahem. Anyway. If you have a sweet tooth – sweet potato fries are good and good for you. Enjoy. And pass the A1, will ya?

Snippet 003: Breathe

“I can’t breathe.”

Yes, yes she could.

“I can’t! I know you think I can but I can’t and it HURTS!”

She clearly could breathe – there was something powering all the yelling after all and we’d had this same phone call many times before. She’d call in a panic, I’d rush home, she’d be fine, and I’d lose out on a nights pay. I was lucky I still had a job by this point. The boss was quickly losing his patience and I knew that this was one cry for attention that I couldn’t fall victim too.

So I hung up on her.
That was my first mistake.

~~~
Yeah, I don’t know either. *L*

Downsizing!

It’s all the rage, nowdays. Even for the pup. Remember her previous living arrangement box?

Well, seems she decided it was too big. All that decorating was just taking TOO MUCH TIME. So she downsized.

Now if only she had enough room to put a shirt on too…

[OH NOZ!

I know I'm no Annie Libwhatserface the photographer - but it's a half dressed child! WHAT WOULD HANNA MONTANA AND MULLET DADDY DO?! Oh yeah. Get mega bucks and a magazine cover or 80.

For me, I just made it a 'friends and family' picture only so only the freaks I actually know can find it on flickr. Heh. ]