Kaleidoscopic Eclat

Imagine that I owe you some money.
Imagine that this comes from three separate accounts, each of which is an equal amount.
Imagine now that I opt to pay this money. (I know, shock, right?)

Now, supposed I opt to write a single check, instead of three checks, and include on the memo each of the account numbers, AND include a note saying how to divide it, what account numbers it goes too as well, just to be SURE you get the picture. Because I’m already sure that there are idiots working for this organization, so let’s make it easy, right? Right.

Tell me - would YOU be an idiot and simply pay off one of the accounts and then issue a refund for the rest of the money, leaving the other two accounts unpaid?

Fucking idiots. Now I think I’ll just refuse to pay the other two until they get their heads out of their asses and bill me appropriately. As it is, they issued the refund in the primary name on the bill, instead of to the person who wrote the damn check, me. Which means I have to drag him off to the bank, have him cash it, and give ME the money.

Extra points if you can think of which government organization employs such idiocy… fuckin’ idiots.

..always dangerous, right? But you know how it is - on a random hop around the blogasphere, you stumble over a little comment that sticks in your craw and you mull over it and then think you’ve forgotten all about it but then it keeps on popping back up at odd times and you just wonder why about the whole blasted thing and hello get out of my head already?! So yeah - I had one of those moments, so I’m just gonna write about it. We’ll see how many haters this pulls out of the woodworks. Hee.

So, I was wandering around and random linkhopping as I’ve been known to do, and saw a picture of a waterslide with the comment “The waterslide of death. Obviously my children haven’t been on it.”

Our local water slide

I know, such a random thing to stick with me, especially as I’m not fond of waterslides myself, having a fear of heights and a severe dislike of getting my face splashed/wet. (I know, I’m weird.) But I couldn’t help but wonder why it was so ‘obvious’ that the kids hadn’t been on it. The slide looked a lot more innocent then ours does around here, and I couldn’t keep my kids off it if I tried. (For the record, I haven’t tried, either. Heh.) It’s built according to safety codes, and there’s a lifeguard at the top, plus the ones at pool itself to assure further safety of the kids and so on and so forth. I’ve never worried about them going down it, even as I refuse to do so myself and no amount of convincing can make me climb those stairs to fling myself into a watery grave of doom at all nu uh no way slide.

Point being - I refuse to impose MY fears on my kids. Does that mean I’m going to let them play with knives and fire and jump off bridges and cliffs? No, because that would be stupid. However, I won’t hold them back from something they want to try either, simply because I’m too scared to try it myself.* I don’t want anything to stand in the way of something they want to do - within reason of course - see the cliff, and driving at the age of 5 or dating before they’re 87 years old.

So I began to wonder a wonder that I’ve wondered before - what the hell is with us and coddling our kids so much nowdays? I mean seriously, we’ve gone so far into the OMG MAH PRESHUSH BB DONT HURT DERE WIDDLE FEELINGS mode of thinking that it seems there’s a great deal of wimpy pushovers and terrified kids running around scared of expanding beyond their little bubbles of “MOMMY SAVE ME”. Am I the only one who thinks this does not bode well for the next group of national leaders that we’re raising?

Now, I’m not saying that common sense shouldn’t reign, but we have to give our kids room to fail, else they will never learn anything - whether it be the thrill of sliding down to a watery tomb of death splash zone set aside for such rides, or dueling with swords, or driving before they’re we’re ready, or dating before they’re we’re ready or riding their bike around the block, or into town with an older sibling, or playing a sport and learning that NOT EVERYONE WINS and sometimes your kid will NOT be the BEST at everything…

If we convince them that they’re better without doing the work, or trying, or that everyone is the same, what good reason can we give our kids to strive to better themselves through their lives? How can we possibly expect them to reach and strive for their full potential, if we’ve coddled them into believing that what they are is all they can be? I fear that a whole bunch of people out there are coddling their kids into self-important delusions of grandeur, while pointing fingers at those of us who aren’t and calling us the bad guys and horrible parents.

It’s not about mommy wars, either. It’s about raising decent human beings that can fend for themselves, instead of reclusive little twerps that we can’t get out of our basement because THE SUN! IT MIGHT BURN MAH PRESHUSH SKIN and mommy I don’t WANNA go on the SLIDE don’t make me!

Ahem.

I don’t really have much of a point beyond the wondering why and how and even a bit if I am doing it all wrong myself. But then I get a look at the smile on my kids faces, I hear the way they talk with their friends, and I see that while they have no fear, they have as much common sense as I can pack into their little blond heads - and I know I’m doing OK.

Sure, you may think differently, and I suppose that’s OK, too as they’re your kids. Just remember, that no - it’s not obvious why your kids haven’t gone down that slide and mine are rushing for ride number 2730129381292. But in the end, I promise not to snicker as my kids rescue your kids from your basement someday.

At least, not too much.
Ok, how about not out loud.

That’s the least I can do.

*Please note that my fears are in no way a result of my parents’ raising me fearfully. I discovered them all on my own, because they allowed me to explore and learn my likes and dislikes all by myself while standing patiently by ready to rescue me when I needed it - just as I do my own kids. And you know, I never did touch that stove after it burned me the first time…

Seems Our Neighborhood Brie wants a war.

As truthfully, she holds the cards, there’s one thing she can’t dictate. So, I’m now taking volunteers to help scrape and paint my house. I’m thinking a nice day glow florescent orange with purple trim.

Brie, you should careful what you wish for.

While I appreciate your diligence in tracking my card to protect my two dollars and fifty cents left in my checking account, do you have to be SO diligent as to wake me up not once, but TWICE this morning to verify purchases? I realize that on the East Coast you get up at godawful times but waking me just before 8am and expecting me to be coherent enough to remember exactly how much I spent and where in the past five days at the blink of my sleep-swollen and desperate to stay closed eyes… well, it’s a little much. And also? Repeating them 15 times while I’m waiting for my computer to boot so that I can check on them Does. Not. Help. And also, that little deep sigh of exasparation when I finally realized WHICH account you were talking about and that I was thinking it was the other one which is what caused most of my confusion? I heard it. Was that really needed? Do I need to say AGAIN that you woke me up?

And sir, you of the second caller, and a MUCH nicer tone of voice, if you know that Amazon tends to break up orders and then charge smaller amounts many times in a row, why did it you not think of that when you received three hits in a row from Amazon this morning - instead of calling me a second time, after I’d already bleerily explained to your co-worker two hours before, to check again? Do you not know what time of year it is?

Again, I appreciate your diligence. I will appreciate it even more, next time, if you call me after noon - MY time.

Sincerely,
a tired lessa

PS. That fucking hold music has GOT TO GO. It’s enough to make someone consider strangling someone with the phone cord. If, you know, it weren’t a cordless. And, you know, you were in reach. And also if, you know, they were grumpy and easily annoyed in the morning. Good thing those first two got you off, huh?

~~~

Dear Amazon,

For the love of god, PUT IT ALL ON ONE CHECK. Thank you.

grouchily sincere,
Lessa

Honestly, I believe…

…that if you can dish it out, but not take it, you should stop reading here, because

…I am about to piss off a whole bunch of people.

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