* And not to shoot yourself with, either, just because it’s your Monday. Heh.
* Funniest return of the past couple days at work:
WA: Is the ladder defective in anyway?
Cust: Not exactly. I just.. uh, didn’t read the capacity…
WA: …capacity?
Cust: Yeah. Um, there’s a lot of BIG BOYS working out there! I brought that ladder and they’re like “YOU can climb on it then..” and so I decided a more sturdy version was totally the way to go!
* 13 more pounds to lose, and I weigh what my license says I do! I’ve been lying on that bad boy for a DECADE. Heh. It’ll be “I weigh that, but I don’t have that chin anymore. SCORE!” Heheh.
* Speaking of customers: really, you’re that pissed about giving me your zip code for survey purposes? Like knowing you live in a certain city will make it easy for me to a: sign you up for a random credit card or b: stalk you? Get over yourself. I don’t even remember what you look like, let alone what your zip code is!
* And also – it’s not MY fault you managed to demagnitize the scan strip on your gift card for $6.72 so that it cannot be used at my register. I tried 15 times. You watched me. You growled at me for not making it work. I called a CSM to get her to try. You yelled because it took so long. (Despite the fact you were separating your huge order into three different transactions AT THE PHOTO COUNTER and I was doing you a FAVOR.) Here’s an idea – keep your card in that fancy little envelope and DONT PUT IT ON MY DEMAGNITIZER THINGY. I’m just sayin…
* And from AP land (asset protection): Dear Tweeker, if you pile up a basket so high it’s over your head (and takes three normally loaded baskets to sort it) and try to simply WALK OUT THE DOOR… we will notice. And stop you. And if you do it again the next day, we will not only stop you, but make you pay for the clothing you CHANGED INTO IN THE AISLES before you leave. And also, thanks for bleeding all over the first batch. That was nice, in that ‘now we gotta hazmat it and if she gave us a disease we’re gonna be PISSED’ kinda way. Do us all a favor and stay outa the store, ok? Ok.
* I bought girly shoes. Peppermist wore them to the Homecoming dance. I will probably kill myself if I try to walk in them, and have another option on the way, so may never actually wear them. But, the fact remains, I bought girly shoes! Peppermist swears that means I’m a real girl. Pffft.
* The nice smelling lotion was another count against me in the ‘Mom’s a REAL GURL’ column. But it smells nice! Tahitian Orchid! Shut up, I’M NOT A GIRLY GIRL.
* AND I only bought a dress because TBF is getting married. That shouldn’t count against me, right? RIGHT.
* Did I mention TBF is getting MARRIED? We’ve only waited 18 years for this! I think that DESERVES a moment of Lessa in a Dress, don’t you? 
* Pictures? What pictures. Pfft. Maybe.
