Kaleidoscopic Eclat

So, I’ve always known that there would be drama when the kids hit that lovely Hormone High known as the teenage years. I’ve been lucky, for the most part. It’s been minor blowouts, containable, and generally un-stressful. Generally. But my time was coming, my time was near - my time is here.

And it’s not one of the kids I gave birth too, just one of ‘my’ kids by proxy. The girlfriend of Z - the one who he was heartbroken over a while ago but who he’s since gotten back together with - is having some difficulties. B had been living with her grandparents, and it had gotten pretty bad there for her. It blew up bigtime a few days ago when her Grandma kicked her out, then promptly threatened to call the cops if she left.

…I know.

So she ran. And she ran straight to my house, via Z’s help and instruction. I’ve since gotten her to call her grandma (and THAT phonecall was one for the record books too.) and let them know she’s ok and has a place to stay, we’ve gotten her job squared away (she was sure she’d be fired, I walked her through talking to them - what to say, how to say it and to tell the truth, don’t try and snow them - and getting the result we wanted) and she’s staying with me and the kids for now.

She turns 18 in 2 months, and thus will then be legally able to be on her own, so it’s just keeping her out of the system until that time. Her grandmother told her not to call again, and we’ve discovered there are no authorities involved, so it should be pretty drama free for the most part. There is another grandmother that I’m hoping to have her check in with in time.

She’s a good kid, too. That’s the thing. She calls, she checks in, she lets me know where she is, what she’s doing, and even helps keep the boys in line. *L* There’s been a lot of laughter, some tears, talks, hair dye and play. She gets along with The Girl and is patient as can be with The Pup - and that’s a miracle in and of itself, as the boys have zero patience for poor Pup who only wants to be the center of attention at all times is that so much to ask GOSH. B is a wonderful girl, and I’m glad that she felt she could come to me in her time of need.

I guess I just don’t understand how some people think that suffocating the kids is the way to keep them controlled. It doesn’t work that way - they don’t like being controlled anymore then we do, or did at their age. Teach them, guide them, and give them a long leash (but not TOO long) and expect nothing less then the respect you deserve, and the kids will thrive and grow and learn. You have to trust that the lessons you taught them will sustain them through Hormone Hell, that they’ll know which decisions are the right ones and live by your rules even when not in your direct line of sight. I have great kids so maybe I’m just lucky.

Or maybe, just maybe, I’m doing something right.

Oh yeah - hair dye? Meet B (tri-toned! Blue, red, black) - with The Boy (Went blond to raven) and Z (from brunette to blond).

How cute are they?! (though obviously, they hate the camera. Sigh. Teenagers.)

Remember that Writer’s Block of Blathering Snippets I started (and yes, need to post again in)? Yeah. Psst. Over there on the sidebar there, there’s now a box that says “Writer’s Block” and under it some links. There’s the most recent snippets. It will take you direct to those posts here at the snippet blog.

I know. like I needed another one, huh? *L* My name is Lessa, and I am a blogaholic.
(and ya’ll know it’s just because I wanted to use that theme, right? Right.)
(stop looking at me like that!)

So, today, the pup hit another milestone in the whole swimming lesson crusade, for it was jump off the diving board day! She doesn’t usually have much fear to speak of, and CLEARLY loves the water and I’m beginning to wonder if she has gills to go along with her long skinny feet that look suspiciously like flippers at times - but even so, I wasn’t sure if she’d chicken out or not. After all, I have never ever jumped off a diving board in my entire life and I have exactly zero plan to do so, ever. So I wouldn’t blame her at all- though I totally would let the coaches toss her in give her a nudge in the right direction. I have a ‘mean’ rep to protect, after all!

So anyway, at the end of the lesson, everyone moved to the diving board, and after letting EVERYONE ELSE GO FIRST because she was a little scared being polite and waiting her turn, she couldn’t put it off any longer - and with only the slightest of hesitations, she took the plunge!

Hurray! She also made it almost the entire way across the pull without having to stop/grab onto Coach Billy. By the end of next week, I fully expect her to pass out of lvl 2 and into lvl 3 the following week. I also expect I’ve a long year of swim mom coming up this winter. Of course, this also means I’m eying all of those KCHS Lady Kardinal records that hang on the wall at the pool, the ones that say “M.B.” from the early 90s. I fully expect the lot of them to be replaced by the year 2016 with “J.M.”

I mean, just LOOK at that form though - don’t it belong on a Wheaties box? I thought so too. But no pressure, pup. No pressure at all. *grin*

PS - anyone know where can get a set of those *points up* for my house? And padlocks to go with them? After all, it’s a step up from her box, right? hahahhaha.

Today I’m one PROUD auntie! D-man has had it rough his whole life, and we, as his stepparents, stepgrandparents and stepauntie have done our best to love him through every little step of the way - all the babysteps forward, the leaps backward, the painful starting overs. We’ve triumphed with every success, and did our best to help him through the rough patches. Days like today remind us how very far we’ve come - no matter the length of the road still ahead.

This morning, I stayed after the pup’s swimming lesson (her triumph to come in next post *g*) to watch his lesson too. He’d asked me to stay, and he promised that he’d jump off the diving board on his very own if I was there to watch him. As the last two attempts involved the coaches tossing him in when he decided he couldn’t do it on his own, I knew this was a big step for him. And he wanted me to be there for it.

I would be the crazy Auntie Voice encouraging him and cheering him on - as yes, he took that very big leap of faith all on his own today:

All the kids were tired and a bit grumpy today, and when we arrived back at Auntie Ladybug’s house so that I could pick up the dog, there was a minor meltdown, and I stepped in to deal with D-man. You know how it is - sometimes kids just listen better when it’s not the parents doing the talking too, but another trusted adult and I knew Ladybug was nearing the end of her rope.

A few minutes afterwards, we had a very good talk, he and I, with quiet words and understandings and explanations as we picked apart what happened and how it could have been handled better. He decided to clean up his room a bit before heading outside, and I went back out to talk to his mama after getting a big hug from a teary-eyed boy.

I didn’t ask him to apologize to his mom for his part in the confrontation. I didn’t ask him to talk to her at all about what we’d discussed - we’d handled it, cleared the air, and it was done with as far as I was concerned. But my man D-man, after taking about five minutes to himself, came out ON HIS OWN and apologized to his mama for the melt down and his part in it. The apology was all his doing, 100%, and so today, we celebrate this babystep for what it is - a very big deal. I could not be prouder for him accepting the responsibility and taking the steps to repair the situation on his own.

Slow and steady wins the race, Mama Ladybug. He’ll get there, as long as we keep holding his hand through every leap of faith he takes.

Today was the day. She’d been WAITING and WAITING and OMG MOM ISN’T IT TIME YET because she’s been waiting FOREVER. Yes, today was the pup’s very first swimming lesson. She has always loved the water - all my kids do, they get it from their daddy and auntie, and nana and papa - and she’s been oh so greenly jealous of Auntie’s kiddos who got to be on a swimteam last year. Of course, she didn’t tell me that’s what she wanted to do until the season was almost over and the lil ladybug made the team, but whatever.

So I told her I needed a break from Little League anyway, so we’d skip this year and she could take swimming lessons all summer instead, and then if she still wanted to be on the team she could try out and we’d do swimming. I haven’t been a swim mom since her Auntie was in highschool and Nana and I went to every meet - so did the Boy, but he was too little to remember it. *g*

I reminded her last night that she’d have to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that she could get up early for class. Yes, I’m so into allowing my kids to do what they desire most that I was going to GET UP BEFORE NOON and be at the pool at NINE FREAKIN’ AM. She bounced out of bed this mornign, nagged me until it was time to go (Now mom? now? HOW ABOUT NOW?) and we were off.

She did extremely well, natch. Her backstroke is most awesome, and she’s working on her freestyling ways - right now she’s got quite the bobblehead. Heh. She has absolutely no fear of getting her face wet, being underwater, opening her eyes underwater, doing bubble bobs, none of it.

And most importantly - she SLOWED DOWN and LISTENED to her teacher.
I know. I was shocked too!

Just goes to prove she really does want this, as well as confirms my suspicion that she would do better in a more individualized sport rather then team sports like the older two. So we swim. Well, she swims. I take pictures. Get a load of her grin in the backstroke…

And here, a video for Auntie: