Land o'Lessa

It’s another double dose of the Bachelorette tonight, as we get the episode and the reunion-esque “men tell all” show one after the other. We start with the final three getting to go to the Bahamas and have one on one all day (and all night..) dates with DeAnna. Jeremy is up first, and they play on jetskis and Deanna hopes he’ll let go and have some fun, but he goes all weird on her and shuts down. It’s like he’s a teenage boy on his first date all of the sudden, and he finally tells her that he’s scared to lose her, and she gives him the fantasy suite card and they rush off to the private room to spend the night.

Jason’s date involves off roading and a secluded picnic and even some kayaking – which they really suck at, since neither have done it before. They laugh a lot and seem to have a really great time. He tells her that his son and her are his favorite subjects and later gives her a necklace and they get all lovey dovey as she kisses him eagerly and of course, he gets the dream suite too. In fact, he doesn’t even read the rest of the note, getting to ‘spend the night’ and giddily dragging her off like a schoolboy, as she follows laughing.

Jesse’s turn for the all day date involves horseback riding on the beach and lots of laughter and a sensitive romantic side of Jesse. He gets serious and they talk of kids and marriage and what their life would be like together. He assures her that she has a place in his life and he’s falling for her. She gives him the card, and he says he isn’t sure he can take it until he meets her dad. She’s shocked – but turns out he was just teasing her and off they run to the suite and she loves that he makes her laugh.

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We’re down to 9 men, hoping to “marry America’s Sweetheart” DeAnna. Oh goody. There will be singing, dancing, and tears – mostly from me, as I sit through it, I’m sure. We start out the morning as Robert, Jason and Fred get to move up to the Mansion from the outhouse and the announcement there will be a group date, a one on one date, and a two on one – though with that date one will be tossed immediately so they’ll have to pack before the date. The boys will have to earn the spot on the One on One date too -by writing and performing an original song for DeAnna. Poor boys!

There’s goodnatured grumbling as Jesse says he sucks at this and he wants to punch the host in the teeth. Ha! Twilly is worried that he has no game whatsoever, as Brian admits to loving putting verse on paper – he’s thrilled with the contest. Poor Sean says he’d rather dig his own grave, as the boys continue to joke around and someone mentions “refrain” and they go “…a what?!?” and I snicker. The “easy” part is over after 20 minutes or so, and now they have to perform their songs. DeAnna is the sole judge on who win. They let Fred go first to put him out of his misery. Much giggling all around – poor guy is tone deaf, but he got rhyme, and he at least tried. Graham wants to eat glass rather then this, but he hopes to just slide through the radar. Robert thinks he can sing – and he can better then the others but they did alright – there was even a rap, and a lot of spoken word that wanted to be lyrical, but well, fell short. Jesse gets points for braving and singing directly to her while holding her hand. Awww. He gets a hug for his efforts. Brian W sings his efforts called ‘a house of my pain’ which is.. not too bad. He surprised the other guys and even got a standing ovation and Twilley’s admiration. Ha!

DeAnna says it’s hard, and says Robert was good, as was Sean – but she goes with Jesse because he reached out to her – she ate up the hand holding. Turns out, after a delivery of a tux and tickets to a “private serenade” he’s now quite nervous, and it’s actually pretty cute. Bonus – he cleans up pretty nice, all told. DeAnna assured us she don’t want to change him, just make sure their lives mesh well. He’s like a giddy school boy, especially when he sees his names in lights “one night only, just for you Jesse” and they walk hand in hand through the theatre to find a table with dinner for two.

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It’s a night of cowboys and Ellen, and switching houses. Two of the three guys living with DeAnna at the house are send back to the ‘outhouse’. Jeremy go a single rose for the second time, and stayed at the penthouse, and was joined by Paul and Graham.

The first One on One date tonight went to Richard, where they have dinner on a rooftop and a carriage ride. He leans in for the kiss, feeling chemistry where, unfortunately, there as non. DeAnna stopped the ride right then, and tells him so, and he leaves the show right then. The boys are shocked when his bags are suddenly carried out.

The group date is a Camp Fire hoedown. Yeeehaw! Everyone, except for Jason, were invited and there was dancing lessons, mechanical bull riding and a campfire cookout. Male Egos get a jump start and Ron and Jeremy get into it a bit and Robert gets snippy and says if he gets no one on one time he may as well go. When he opens up to DeAnna about it afterwards, she gives him a single rose too. Aww. Suckah.

The next one on one is with Jason, which explains why he wasn’t at the group date. They head to the observatory via helicopter and during dinner he finally tells her that he has a 3 year old son. They bond over family tragedies and he ends up with the second single rose before elimination. They kissed and it’s clear they’re all ga-ga over each other.

Next up – Field trip to the Ellen show! Ellen helps DeAnna pick who to give the third single rose to via a dance contest, questions and de-pantsing to see who looks the best in Ellen Boxers. Ellen decides the rose should go to Fred, because he’s funny.

At the cocktail party that night, the boys are getting nervous as DeAnna admits that she’s intrigued by Ron, but was grateful to be rescued by Jeremy. Some more chitchat, then it’s the rose ceremony, and Twilly, Jesse, Jeremy, Brian, Graham and Sean get the roses, sending Ron and Paul packing. Ron gets snotty in his exit interview, and says that he feels a match with Jeremy is doomed to failure, and Paul was simply upset and didn’t understand why DeAnna could not like him like he does her. Ha.

Fireworks next week as DeAnna yells at them all and tels them if they can’t handle it, go home. Nice. Love songs, race cars, and a private concert are in the works too.