Land o'Lessa

We’re down to four, and I’m still leaning toward Paul being the Mole – how about you? of course, that may see him eliminated, as I thought it could be Clay last week and yeah, bye bye Clay!

We start off dividing up into young at heart and a camera guy. Paul and Mark are together, and Nicole and Craig. It’s dexterity tests for tots though the catch is the young at heart player is blindfolded with their only view from the camera in their partner’s hands – which is a mirrored image. Harder then it looks, as the mind plays tricks on you, and your partner with the camera can not give you a good enough view. They put shaped blocks into the proper holes, kick a soccer ball into the net, and pour tea into teacups. There’s a whole bunch of mole-ish behavior, with zoomed cameras and spilled tea, and no one making a soccer goal. And then it’s the big test…

They have to walk across a plank between two buildings 2 stories high. Still with the camera/blindfold deal. So much for tot tasks! And of course it’s not that easy, they have to stop halfway across, pick up a piece of chalk, and then on the other end write “the Mole was here” on a chalkboard. Nice. (And also? not happening for me! Yikes! Sure, they’re all safety lined in and all, but still…)

Mark and Paul are first, and Paul is laughing, but it’s very shaky and nervous laughter. Oh and after the get the chalk, they only have 1 minute to get the message written. He makes it with seconds to spare! But of course, this makes Mark suspicious that Paul is the Mole since he did well on that one, but couldn’t make a goal with the soccer ball.

It’s Craigs turn, and his vertigo is kicking in, and he’s scared to death. Nicole follows his instructions as he says zoom in on the chalk – and he’s not even close to it… he makes it and picks up the chalk, and he starts across to the other side, and he’s taking too long to get to the other side. He makes it across without falling, but not in time to write the message on the board. Nicole says “even if he’s the mole, he didn’t have to mole it up that bad!”

Total pot is $353,500 after today’s efforts. Paul says Craig is his top suspect, especially after today.

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The first mission on this weeks return of The Mole has Jon making them separate into 3 runners and 3 thinkers. Mark, Clay and Alex are runners, and Mark is declared the best. Nicole, Craig and Paul are thinkers, and Paul claims the best communicator spot because he’s loud. Nice. They have to find 7 bottls of win in the bigass vineyard, each worth 10k for the pot. To find them, the thinkers are given puzzles, the answer they choose gives them coordinants, Paul relays the info to Clay and Alex who uses a GPS to find them. What about Mark? Well, he has to walk/run on the tredmill until the end of the challenge. Each bottle found increases the speed, and if he stops the challenge is over. He can help with the questions, but Paul can’t. And they’re off.

53 minutes later, and mostly right riddle answers with a couple of corrections and a very steady but tired Mark, and they’ve added $70k to the pot.

The next mission is at a bridge over a gorge. They’re 90 feet high, and will be bungee jumping and attempting to hit a target below to get more money for the pot. They also – after walking to the edge of the plank – have to guess how much they’ll earn as a group, and the closest without going over gets an exemption.

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So, how many of you are positive Kristin is the Mole? How about Craig – was his little hospital trip to dramatic for you and thus suspicious? Is Mark too obsessed with his journal? Will Victoria threaten bodily harm to another contestant only to wuss out again? Let’s find out!

Jon Kelly has more torture for the remaining contestants as they meet them at a local landmark where he shackles them to iron bars. Across the way there’s a cage with a key and an exemption – they have to decide who goes first, adjust the chains to let them next to the cage, and then trust them to grab the key and not the exemption and free themselves. If anyone takes the exemption, they don’t get any money, and the players still shackled will have to stay outside all night in the cold. Yikes. How can they trust the untrustworthy?

They debate who goes first and decided Craig should as he’s sickly, and gives his word that he won’t take the exemption. Kristen is next, and then Paul swears on his daughters life – they aren’t sure they believe him, but he unlocks himself and goes, leaving the pass in the cage. Mark is still bemoaning the loss of his journal, and for some reason doesn’t trust himself to leave the pass behind – and there’s a lot of bickering. The dude is weird. As a result, he’s the last one to get the choice, but in the end does the right thing and leaves the pass an joins the rest for dinner – adding $25k to the pot.

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Hey, did you know there are a ton of folks out there desciphering every little thing as potential clues as to who the mole is? Nice! Course, they all think that Bobby is the mole – or Craig… they even have some good theories. But are they correct? Time will tell!

This week, more coalitions are formed while Nicole and Paul snark back and forth about their hatred of each other and how they’re here to stay and screw the other and blah blah enemies forever blah. A lot of the rest of them are concerned because she made that death threat last week, and Paul uses it to his advantage. Clay, Mark and Bobby are sharing info to try and figure out who the Mole is. Meanwhile Nicole says she just made the death threat to get under his skin, but she feels nothing for Paul. it’s a game.

Challenge time! It’s called Fruit of the Luge, and they split themselves into two groups – Trust Blindly, and Can’t Trust Anyone. Then one from each group is paired together and they race down the 2 person luge track. The driver is blindfolded (can’t trust players) as the trust blindly players direct them to the bottom, and call out the 7 fruit pictures they pass, and the blindfolded players have to remember and place them in order at the top of the track – and they can’t talk between themselves once they cross the finish line, until they are done picking out the fruits.

Everyone does pretty well, but for Nicole and Alex who only get one correct, and Craig and Victoria keep rambling on and talk and end up disqualified and their 7 for 7 is removed from the total. The whole group adds $89k to the pot, though. Did Craig try to sabotage on purpose? Did Nicole do it, by saying Green Apple twice and messing them up? Suspicious abound!

Jon Kelly books them for a spa day, and promptly steals their clothing and after their treatments lets them know they can wear the provided booty shorts and tank tops as they wander the streets and beg for clothing off the locals to meet him for dinner where they have to adhere to a dress code in order to be let inside. If you don’t make it to dinner on time – you don’t eat. Here’s a card with the name of the restaurant on it, and each person that shows up will get $5k added to the pot. Clay and Mark refuse to participate – Clay says it’s because he needs to keep his dignity and self- respect intact. On national tv. On a reality tv show. Yeah…. Mark says “ditto” and drops off too.

The rest, it’s amusing as hell to watch them scramble for the clothing in the streets, until Craig makes a big find – they stumble onto a laundromat where all their clothes have been cleaned and pressed! They dress in their own, and bring the rest back to the restaurant. Everyone gets there on time, and that brought the pot up to $129k.

Paul gets all uppity during dinner, citing money is more important then friendship and Nicole decides to kill him with kindness. WhatEVer. Then it’s quiz time, and then time for execution. Jon Kelly offers $20k to anyone who will walk out before finding out their scores, and gets no takers. He calls some safe, then offers $30k to walk out, and Ali takes it saying she feels like she was about to be executed. Turns out she’d have been safe. In fact, Bobby is then executed, and leaves alongside Ali.

Guess he wasn’t the mole after all…

I finally got the chance to sit down and watch this weeks episode of The Mole all the way through. I don’t know – the whole show just doesn’t speak to my Reality loving heart like most of the other’s do, but I’ll keep plugging away at it because I LIKE YOU. Yes, you. And you. But you over there in the corner? Well, ok, maybe you too. ANYWAY.

This week, the remaining 11 contestants gather with Jon Kelly at the bottom of a huge hill that makes me a little seasick looking at – Heights and me, we don’t so much get along, right? The players are split into two groups according to their outlook on life. Goal oriented folks, nine of them, are one team, while the two who think life is an uphill battle to be fought are the other team. Mark and Kristen are the uphill fighters and have to ride a bicycle built for two to the top of the hill. The others get to take a gondola ride (…omg do you know how much those SWING on the little CABLES that are all that’s between you and CERTAIN DEATH? I mean….) to the top after they score a goal in a soccer game against Chilean team. If Mark and Kristin get to the top first? No money in the pot. If the 9 soccer players make it first, they get to add $35k. It’s looking good for the 9 soccer players, right? Looks can be deceiving, as we all know.

Mark and Kristan take off, but the chain keeps falling off the bike. The soccer players think they have this in the bag when they find they’re competing against a children’s soccer team – until they start kicking their ass, and I start laughing at how shocked they are that they can’t compete with the kiddos. Hahaha! It takes them like 20 minutes to score a goal, and they had to do it on a penalty kick! Ali makes the score for them and they get their tickets, but have to search out the ride and they start bickering like… well, kids. Meanwhile, Mark and Kristen are running and pushing the bike instead of riding it. Halfway there, they get he chance of losing $5k and taking a cab the rest of the way, but Mark goes bitchy competitive and they continue to run. Maybe running up huge ass hills makes him cranky – it would make ME cranky, so yeah. In the end, though, his bitchy pushing gets them to the top first, and they are also exempt from the upcoming execution.

Enter paranoia, as everyone kinda gangs up on Bobby who says he just isn’t an athlete – my favorite line was something along the lines of ‘he’s either the perfect mole, or the worst player in history.’ because he sucks THAT badly. In fact, the next challenge, he sucked even MORE and ended up letting a GIRL push him in a wheelbarrow. Now that’s sexay. *snort*

Anyway – the group heads to a pig farm, and they have to find 50 piggy banks scattered around town. They return to the farm and slingshot them over into the field where Liz and Paul have to catch them in a blanket. Pigs in a Blanket. heh. Each pick that lands without breaking gets $1000 into the pot. Bobby gets winded and really – it would be WAY to obvious for him to be the mole, so could it be true he’s like the worst wussy girlyman ever seen on a competition?! Paul becomes convinced the pig they’re holding has something good in it, breaks it and finds the third exemption. Liz is annoyed.

The pig tossing commences and Alex goes all macho, until Craig steps in and takes over and they send pigs flying ending up with Paul and Liz catching 28 pigs. The pot now stands at $68k and no one is surprised that Bobby’s team didn’t bring back a single pig to toss. heh. Then Bobby discovers Alex’s journal just lying around, and figure it was a really stupid move. What they don’t know is that he did it on purpose to rouse suspicion. They take the quiz, and Liz is executed for not knowing enough about the mole.

After she leaves, they continue to pick on Bobby, with Paul leading the charge and Nicole tells Paul she could kill him in his sleep without leaving evidence. Nice. Next week – will Paul wake up safely? And is it way to obvious for Bobby to be the mole? Or does he really just suck THAT badly?

Time will tell.