Dear ‘Perfect’ Neighbor.

Have I ever bitched about the snowmachines and boats revving at all hours of the day and night? have i ever bitched that you come into my yard and ‘clean’ it whenever you deem it too messy by your standards? have I ever bitched about many other ‘helpful’ (but really only helpful to you) things that you have done over the years? Haven’t i ALWAYS said thank you for the things that ARE helpful, and most times for those that are annoying beyond belief because my parents raised me to be a smart and respectful kid?

Have i ever not asked you if it is alright if my children play on your swingset? And have I not always pulled them away home when it isn’t and taken care of any problems instantly and immediately?

Have i ever commented on the recent influx of all manner of vehicles parked haphazardly along the road (near blocking it many times) and the propensity of many of those visiters SPEEDING down the road past my house? Or said visiters taunting my dog until she is near frenzy – which takes some doing as she’s such a giant loveable pup. Though it must be remembered she IS a rottweiler, and if she breaks off her chain because of your visitors taunting and an incident results it is NOT my fault but yours?

Have I not done everything including keeping my mouth shut about all manner of things over the years because truly it is none of my business what you do on your own property? For instance your summertime feeding of those goddamn noisy fucking seagulls that now return every fucking year in a flock bigger and noisier then the year before? Even though there is a WEALTH of bitchery about what I do on MY own property? That I usually get second and third hand, thank you very much, as the preferred method of communication is the ‘behind the back snipery to the parents’ type as if I am 10, instead of an adult – and as if you are a teenager instead of a grown woman older then I am?

So my dog goes out for 15-30 minutes [NOT “over an hour”] in the early am to pee, and just this week, mind you, has been barking to scare something larger then her off. After all – you never noticed BEFORE have you? I didn’t think so, as you obvioiusly aren’t one to keep quiet.

I’m already working on breaking her of that early morning habit as it’s fucking with MY sleep – but until you want to come over and clean up any eventual accidents inside the house that I may step in?

Fuck off.
~L

ps. “perfect” neighbors suck.
pps. and calling me at 7am is NEVER ok. Unless your my Family. Or it’s an emergancy concerning my family.
ppps. that ‘coming over to clean up the accident’ was not a real invitation.
pppps. should you, the ‘perfect’ neighbor, read this, without my knowledge and the like? Oh well, now you know. my space, my thoughts, my annoyances, my money that pays for it all. Ain’t free speech a bitch? ‘Sides, you weren’t invited anyway. shoo now. there’s a good girl.
ppppps. obviously, i need one of those shirts “I’m SO blogging about this!” Heh.