So, here’s the thing…

I’ve always wanted too. But I never quite had the guts, because, you know, fat girls aren’t supposed too! When you go in, they say oh no, not that, you need something that will accentuate, yet slenderize! You don’t want to do that…

Yes. Yes I did. But I caved every time, and went longer then I wanted, I let them accentuate the cheekbones, and attempt to slenderize the unslenderizeable… After all, they were the professionals, they would know right?

But you know something? I decided round about Christmas time, that I didn’t give a shit. There is not a single haircut in the WORLD that is going to hide the fact that my double chin is attempting to eat my face. No haircut in the world is gonna slenderize anything in my overly round very plump face. It’s not gonna happen, and by god, I am sick of pulling my hair straight back in a bun every single day, of having it just THERE and doing NOTHING because I’m not a girly girl. I wanted something that I could get up, run my fingers through and be done with it!

I wanted a “dyke cut”.
(Yes. I so went there.)

Or, if you MUST be PC – something pixie-ish, but not so cute sounding. I wanted my hair SHORT. SHORT SHORT. Not “oh we’ll only go a little shorter then your shoulders… that’ll help accentuate your cheekbones..” Honey, the only thing that’ll find my cheek bones is something that’s balanced on the fat, ok? I wanted it SHORT.

So today? Despite the fact that its -30 below, despite the fact that most folks are growing their hair in order to keep their ears warm (remember, mine’s always back in a bun anyway!), and with the willing aid of a hairdresser who was excited about the prospect of cutting all my hair off and giving me what I wanted…

I went short. “Pixie” short. I got myself a dyke cut. And I LOVE IT. It’s off the back of my neck, its out of my face, it’s fun to run my fingers through, I can spike it up if I want, my cowlick is worked into the style so it looks like it’s SUPPOSED to do what it does, it’s my natural color with a touch of left over blue on the bangs, and I’ll save a fortune in hair dye once I decide what color I want to go. And also? official confirmation from the stylist to make my daughter shut up – not a single gray hair to be found. SO THERE. Heh.

What, you wanna see? Fiiiiiiiiine. Here ya go – in all my fat-faced glory!

As you can see – the pup finally got her wish and got her hair cut too. She decided she wanted to channel a little Posh Spice, and went for the a-line bob, with a fringe bang. She adores it!

PS – oh yeah. When dad saw it, he just stared for a long moment…

Me: I know, you like it long.
Dad: It’s not that.. it’s.. you look just like your mom! That picture on the wall, when she was young, and she had her hair so short… you look just like your mom.
Me: Well, long as it was when she was YOUNG, it’s all good..

(Yes, we both got smacked when we related said convo to mom.)