Dear PTB: Should my lazy teenager get a job?

It’s Sunday! We’ve made it a week of posting EVERY SINGLE DAY! I know you’re excited too, right? (…hello? Is this thing on? Anybody here? Bueller?!) So today, I thought I’d open up the mailbag, and see what question popped up first. Remember, you can ask PTB for snarky answers to you’re teenager woes too! Just click right here (or hit the Ask PTB link at the top of the page!) and we’ll get our snark on!

Today’s Question:
My teenager thinks I’m made of money! He goes to school, sleeps, doesn’t help around the house and expects me to hand him cash every time he needs something! I can’t afford this – should I make him get a job?
— Frustrated (and broke!) Mom.

Well, first off, FM – have you tried to make him do anything yet? Because in my experience, teenagers don’t “make” well. I tried to make mine get out of bed before noon on a weekend once! I tried everything! Have you seen that commercial where the mom simply uses windex to clean the windows and the extra sunlight got her kids up? Yeah. NEVER HAPPENS.

But that’s beside the point. A job! There’s a lot of different opinions on the job issue, a lot of factors go into deciding if a teen should work or not, and how much if he does get a job. Here are some things to consider:

1. Social life: Does he have one? Does he want one? Who pays for it if he does?

2. School: Is he a good student? Can he keep up his grades if you add work into the mix? Is the job he’s seeking flexible enough with his schedule so that he can keep his grades up?

3. Sports: Does he have time for the above, plus sports if he’s into that, and is his job flexible enough for a sports schedule?

4. Money: Here’s the tricky part. Can you afford to pay for his car, gas, activities, etc? Does he get an allowance to pay for those, and is there a limit on ‘extras’ he can ask for? Have you discussed finances with him? Why the hell not?

I know that money is often a far more dirty word than ‘sex’ or ‘drugs’ when it comes time to talk to you’re teenager, but if you don’t train him in good financial habits now, you are only doing your child a disservice. Whether you encourage him to get a job or not, teaching him budgeting is a must, so that he learns the value of saving for something he really wants, because that’s what happens in the real world.

If you and your teen make the decision that he needs a job, then there will be quite a bit of adjusting for the both of you. All I can really say is what’s worked for us – and also what I ALWAYS say: TALK TO YOUR TEEN.

Yeah, you know I was gonna say it, didn’t ya?

Around here the rule is:
Want to drive? Get a job and pay for your own gas/insurance. I can’t afford it.
Want a car? See above.

I relax a lot about them doing things around the house if they’re working, especially as The Boy works so many hours. He’s rocking a 40+ hour work week, plus school. He does have Work Release, so gets out of school early, and often uses that time to nap, but it’s still pretty hard on him. But he bought his own truck, handles his insurance, and has plenty of cash left over to do whatever he wants. (It usually involves sharp and pointy things. Boys!)

I don’t ask him to pay any bills aside from his insurance. His job, his money. He works as hard as he wants to get what he wants, and that’s ok with me. Time will come all too soon when he has to support himself.

Bottom line is this: Talk to you teen, and see what their goals are. Then work together to find a solution.

Tags: Ask PTB, get a JOB, NaBloPoMo