On parenting style:
While watching Rosanne on Nick at Night. Peppermist: She’s so funny! Me: I know. I model my parenting after her. Peppermist: I see the resemblance! Me: wait! (mock shock) Are you calling me FAT? Peppermist: Nope. A bitch! Me: … (laughing) well played, daughter o’mine! Well played! Oh how I love that snarky kid! (And […]
On Police Reports:
The Boy arrives home from work, and says oh so blandly: The Boy: I don’t know why Z got so worked up the first time he was stopped by the cops. It’s really not that stressful. Me: ….wait, what?! Boy: Oh nothing… Me: (repeating, in case he missed the first time where I meant DETAILS […]
On becoming a girly-girl…
Peppermist: It’s an EMERGENCY! Me: What?! Peppermist: I NEED MAKEUP! Mascara and Eyeliner, STAT! Me:…you don’t wear makeup! Peppermist: Thus, the EMERGENCY! Coach said we had too. What do I DO? What is this ‘smokey eye’ thing they keep talking about? Me:… have we met? How would I know?! -I- don’t wear makeup either! Peppermist: […]
On Feminism
While watching Survivor: Pup: WHAT? He said it’s his Dumb.. Me: (fills in the blank for her because she won’t say it) ass Pup: alliance? Because they’re GIRLS? Like Girls are Dumb just because of our GENDER? Oh I hate that Russell! Me: (…she used the word gender?! Who is this child?)
On Driving:
The Boy: Where can I go for 1.5 hours before work? Me: I just activated your new bank card. Boy: To the store! Me: Grab some Toilet Paper? Boy: I won’t be your errand boy forever, you know. Me: Thus my taking advantage now. Boy: Alright. It’ll last about until I have to fill my […]
