Legally Blonde: Too Many Cassie's spoil the plot…
Tonight the top ten Potential Elle’s move into the NYC digs for the duration of the competition, and it is – of course – an all pink loft that made my girl (she of the hot pink room) squeal “I WANT THEIR ROOMS!” in a giddy high-pitch way unable to be heard but by other Pink Lovers. They pop the sparkling cider for a toast (how WHOLESOME!) and everyone is getting along fine. Of course, we know that won’t last. They get the call sheet and are told to dress comfortable and casual… which for Bailey is pink high heels. She was smart enough to pack an extra pair of flats though, and she admits such when her shoes are pointed out.
They warm up with a tongue twister – laughs ensue as they repeat variations of the phrase “Mother pheasant plucker” while blushing and giggling everytime they slip up and get bleeped. They run lines with the actor who plays Emmett, the love interest, and Bailey is picked on again because her Southern Accent is too think. It’s worth it though, as in the end she wins the challenge, and gets to take Lindsey with her to spend some one on one time with Nikki Snelson, the curent Brooke Wyndham on broadway.
Haylie informs all the girls they’ll be performing the Delta Nu Nu Nu scene with Nkki for the judges – a tricky bit that involves finger snaps, hand signals and quick movements. Bailey and Lindsey are smart and have Nikki Snelson teach them the hand gestures, and end up convinced they’ll nail the scene during the audition.
At the loft, the other girls are trying to learn the song on their own and it quickly dissolves into opinions stated loudly enough to drown each other out – too many cooks in the kitchen!
At the audition, Nikki Snelson is instructed to drop one of her lines to test the girls ability to think on their feet. Lindsey fails the test by being silent for a long time until Nikki ‘remembers’ her line. She drops the same line with each girl, and some don’t miss a beat, while others completely blow it.
Judges deliberate, then the 10 Elle Hopefuls walk onstage holding hands and learn their fate from a casting list. Names on the list – they’re staying for sure, if not they face elimination. Bailey, Lauren, Emma, Natalie, Rhiannon, Autumn and Celina are declared safe and go off stage while Cassie O, Cassie S and Lindsey are the bottom three and head to the casting office to see who’s going home.
The judges tell Lindsey she looks like Elle Woods, but didn’t deliver but they give her another chance. Cassie S. has the tools to succeed, but is a bit to robotic, and Cassie O has the best voice, but no acting to back it up, and in the end, that’s why she is cut, which causes her to sniffle her way out of the theater.
Tune in next week for more pink then you can shake a stick at – and I haven’t convinced my daughter to write the recaps for me. She’s too busy singing Delta Nu Nu Nu. (…someone shoot me…)
Update: Desperate Wars.
Further investigation today has denials, as expected. But what REALLY amuses me is where the blame was cast.
On the City Mayor.
THE MAYOR.
I have to admit that part of me? REALLY HOPES THIS IS TRUE… because that means I told whoever called to tell ‘her’ (and our mayor is conveniently female to boot) to “suck my ASS. She’s lucky I don’t dump all my shit on HER lawn!” In fact, the thought of that message being passed to the Mayor verbatim makes me all tingly in naughty places. *smirk*
I think it’s awfully convenient that the Mayor was seen driving by and thus must have made the complaint, but well, the only one who knows for sure is the person responsible. Guess I’ll just have to invite Ms. Porter over to the yard party after the Painting happens… just to make sure all the people involved get the full benefit of DayGlo goodness.
The Bachelorette: Songs and Roses
We’re down to 9 men, hoping to “marry America’s Sweetheart” DeAnna. Oh goody. There will be singing, dancing, and tears – mostly from me, as I sit through it, I’m sure. We start out the morning as Robert, Jason and Fred get to move up to the Mansion from the outhouse and the announcement there will be a group date, a one on one date, and a two on one – though with that date one will be tossed immediately so they’ll have to pack before the date. The boys will have to earn the spot on the One on One date too -by writing and performing an original song for DeAnna. Poor boys!
There’s goodnatured grumbling as Jesse says he sucks at this and he wants to punch the host in the teeth. Ha! Twilly is worried that he has no game whatsoever, as Brian admits to loving putting verse on paper – he’s thrilled with the contest. Poor Sean says he’d rather dig his own grave, as the boys continue to joke around and someone mentions “refrain” and they go “…a what?!?” and I snicker. The “easy” part is over after 20 minutes or so, and now they have to perform their songs. DeAnna is the sole judge on who win. They let Fred go first to put him out of his misery. Much giggling all around – poor guy is tone deaf, but he got rhyme, and he at least tried. Graham wants to eat glass rather then this, but he hopes to just slide through the radar. Robert thinks he can sing – and he can better then the others but they did alright – there was even a rap, and a lot of spoken word that wanted to be lyrical, but well, fell short. Jesse gets points for braving and singing directly to her while holding her hand. Awww. He gets a hug for his efforts. Brian W sings his efforts called ‘a house of my pain’ which is.. not too bad. He surprised the other guys and even got a standing ovation and Twilley’s admiration. Ha!
DeAnna says it’s hard, and says Robert was good, as was Sean – but she goes with Jesse because he reached out to her – she ate up the hand holding. Turns out, after a delivery of a tux and tickets to a “private serenade” he’s now quite nervous, and it’s actually pretty cute. Bonus – he cleans up pretty nice, all told. DeAnna assured us she don’t want to change him, just make sure their lives mesh well. He’s like a giddy school boy, especially when he sees his names in lights “one night only, just for you Jesse” and they walk hand in hand through the theatre to find a table with dinner for two.
Nashville Star Premiere!
Now THATS more like it! I do love me a show that gets right to the meat of things. Billy Ray Cyrus kept things moving, and though there were some of the expected montages of good and bad auditions, for the most part it was all about the top 12 contestants performing for a live audience – complete with pyrotechnics and typical first night jitters.
The judges are half of Big and Rich, John Rich (who wrote my favorite – Save a horse, ride a cowboy!). producer/songwriter Jeffrey Steel, and Jewel (the Alaskan. you know. Just like me. Cept I’d never go off, get famous, then forget my hometown state and cancel concerts. Just sayin.) (Who me, bitter? Nah…). They don’t seem to agree on anyone or anything other then the decision is difficult – for them. Nice.
The up side to all the montages is that we get to the actual competition quick-like with everyone joining together to sing Life is a Highway, with gusto. What a fun way to start off the competition! The crowd was going crazy and the judges sang along, so it was cool. Except for the part where most of the singers sounded off. Not a good sign.
We’re told everyone will perform, and the judges are going to eliminate someone right off the bat tonight, with public voting for favorites afterwards. (American Idol – are you paying attention?! This is the way to run a singing comp! Just like Can You Duet does!) We listen to Taylor Swift sing, which is good – I liked the song, and so did the judges as they tell her she’s pretty much the best thing they’ve ever seen and they want everyone else to be that good. No pressure or anything, ya’ll.
Now to the performances. Pearl Heart, a trio of twins and their sister sing “Wide Open Spaces”. It’s a little shakey until they harmonize then they sell it. Jewel says that Courtney has to really take charge as the front woman. The Navy Boy, Tommy Stanley, who’s gotten a ton of press, is next and he’s got a ton of energy and looks like he’s gonna bounce right off the stage. The judges think so too, but I think he has a lot of personality and he got the crowd.
Shawn Mayer is someone I just know i’m going to like, though I didn’t like her rendition of Piece of my Heart. She went for big – but not big enough. Nerves, possibly, but I hope she gets a chance to show her range. The three boys of Third Town follow her and sing Elvira. They get the crowd, but not me. I’m sorry, don’t ever sing that song unless you can do it right, dammit. The dude in the middle – little Tony – is like super high tenor too and they’re harmonies just weren’t smooth at all. They also can’t decide on who’s the lead singer which Rich thinks is a huge problem.
Next up, it’s Coffey, who’s a single dad and his daughter is completely adorable. He sings “Drift Away” and gets the crowd going, though I do wish he’d enunciate more clearly, because if I didn’t know the song like I do, I wouldn’t know what the hell he was saying. Billy Ray tells him not to let his baby girl go into show business. hahah! Daddy says she’s a tornado in blue jeans, and babysittings a chore whoo! Hah. Rich and Jewel get into it arguing whether or not he had pitch problems. Rich tells Jewel she wouldn’t know because SHE has pitch problems. Nice. Overall they like him though and think he’s the best so far.
Laura and Sophie are next, best friends who sound more like sisters singing “Stand by your man” – they harmonize beautifully, but Jewel wants then to project more. Gabe Garcia sings All my Ex’s live in Texas and he’s pure country. Alyson sings “Suds in the Bucket” and does ok, but the judges want fantastic. Ashlee sings a contrified “bubbly” and the judges are impressed with the way she connected with the audience but want more, want her to stretch and show what she can do.
A real cowboy at last! Charley sings “I like it, I love it” and even goes into the audience to hug up on some pretty girls. He’s like a Garth Brooks Impersonator, and his working the audience didn’t go over too well. Justin sings “Drops of Jupiter” and does ok, but I duno, he’s not too strong – Jewel tells him since he’s hot he has to sing that much better. Hah.
Now comes a gal that I feel I have to pull for, since she’s not a size six, and my left foot isn’t even a size six, so I want her to do well and show you don’t have to be pretty and perky to be a star. Fortunately, she WAILS, and is awesome as she busts out with “let’s give’em something to talk about” and closes the performance part of the show on a high note – or at least a big one that she holds half of forever. Go Big Girl, Go!
It’s elimination time already, and Charley and Alyson are the bottom two according to the judges. Jeffrey wants Charley to go, John says Alyson, so Jewel breaks the tie with Charley though she’s quite sorry about it. Billy Ray asks for his mullet back tells us it’s up to us now, and we’ll find out next week who we collectively disliked, after they are split ino groups and paired with judges to be mentored and perform, and yeah, all that. Tune in then!
How to know…
…that you watch too much Reality TV before bed:
Pup wakes me in a crying hicuppy sniffly panic because she knew she spit out her gum before going to bed but maybe she didn’t because now it’s all over her thigh and knee and she can’t get it off and she CANT GO TO SLEEP STICKY LIKE THIS MAMA OMG WHAT DO I DO?
I wake up with a confused Thought Train that consisted of huh? what? wait… The Mole was about to execute one of the Nashville Star contenders with a hot pink Stiletto heel stolen from the Legally Blonde Musical: Search for the next Elle Woods girls! NOW I WILL NEVER SEE THE FACE OF THE MOLE AND KNOW HIS IDENTITY before he hides out in Hell’s Kitchen where he THINKS HE CAN DANCE his way out of trouble!
I finally managed to voice a “…i mean, uh, take a shower and use soap and a scrubby child, then go back to bed…” out loud, though.
How to know that you’re a good blogger:
…I came here to tell you about it at 3:45am, instead of just going back to sleep to the hum of the pup singing in the shower…
