I’m officially…

…the mother of a sophomore in high school, an 8th grader, and a 3rd grader.

Oy!

That’s right – its BACK TO SCHOOL! WHOO!

complete with fancy footwear.

( Will add the pup’s later. She ran off too fast!)

There. Auntie. Happy now? Gosh.

This…

This is what happens when a certain lil Pup of mine falls STOPS MOVING, while waiting for her ride to the bar-b-que and bonfire to arrive…

I woke her up when they arrived, and she was eager to go – except she was a little groggy and got into MY car. Whoops! Much laughter ensued, I assured them she’d be raring to go in about 15 minutes when she woke up, and they were off.

I now have the entire house to myself – cept for the cats. I think I shall celebrate by, oh, I dunno, taking a shower without being interrupted.

Bliss!

And – via email from my MOM we have this joke:

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’

Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him, and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’

Harry: ‘9.’

Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’

Harry: ’36.’

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.’

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, ‘Let me ask him some questions.’

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’

Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: ‘Pockets.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’

Harry: ‘Pants.’

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a ‘C’, ends with a ‘T’, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?’

Harry: ‘Coconut.’

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: ‘What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?’

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer,

Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’

Ms. Brooks: ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?’

Harry: ‘Shake hands.’

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: ‘What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?’

Harry: ‘Firetruck.’

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ‘Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last seven questions wrong…’

HAHAHAHHA!

O. M. G.

I can’t hear myself think! Is NOISY around here!

Well, not as noisy as it COULD be, I suppose, as the neighbor hasn’t called to bitch. Yet. Ha. And the girls are out in the bus with music and makeup and dancing and food and general fun…

Yes, Girls. As in 13 year old girls. Many, many of them.  Ok, 8 of them – but have you ever HEARD eight 13 year old girls all in one place before? Oy.

You see, today is The Girl’s 13th birthday. I am now officially the mother of TWO teenagers, and I’ve never felt older. This is slightly made better when all of the Girl’s friends tell me that I am the Cool Mom. But still. Old.

Being a big milestone birthday, I let the girl invite all her friends, many of whom she hasn’t seen all summer, and have them all pile into my house for the night. One of them can’t spend the night – but I’ll get into that later. Otherwise, all of them are out there dancing around and having fun. Think I’m lyin? On a bathroom trip just a moment ago I overheard “Man. I am so glad you told me about this – this is the most fun I’ve had ALL SUMMER.”

That rocks.

BTW – THIS is what 13 looks like.

Sigh.

So cute.

Anyway, we went over to Auntie Ladybug’s place for cake and presents and family, and the AnnaBanana Cake was unveiled to surprise the girl, and she was given many, many girly things which made her girly heart fill with girlish glee.

(Am I the only one singing Ms. Hannigan’s “Little Girls” under my breath right now? Yeah? Ok, then. Just checking.)

And that? Is what the boy looks like when he thinks he’ll get to spend the night over here with all them girls. And that’s what his auntie looks like when she tells him no. Ha.

I am having a very hard time with this whole “two teenager” thing. It’s really hard to believe that my little girl – who never was little as she was 9lbs 10oz when she was born – is a teenager, and has a batch of really good, really cool friends, and a social life that’s busy and full of fun and laughter, and, and, and, and. I remember her first cries, the way she felt in my arms, and when I wrap her in hugs now it breaks my heard just a little bit every time.

But with that is an amazing sense of pride too, for the woman she’s becoming. She’s strongwilled, and sensitive. She’s funny, with an easy laugh and a smile for anyone. She defends her friends and family with a zealousness and fierceness that makes me so very proud. She is empathetic, and caring, and responsible. She also is open and willing to talk about things that bother her, and work them out rather then hold everything in until it’s beyond repair.

I couldn’t possibly love her any more, yet each day I impossibly do.

Happy birthday, baby girl. I love you.

She READS!

I didn’t want to do the summer school thing. I mean, this is MY last month before school starts too, and Summer School? She’d hate me forever! However, with some of the changes they made this year, such as making it in August instead of June, two weeks instead of six, a jumpstart reader program instead of including things she didn’t need – well, it made getting up at 7:30am a little more bearable.

And today, for the first time since I don’t know when, she asked to read me something – and listening to her did not make me worry at all.

She read every story in that little magazine to me – I helped her on a couple words, but for the most part she just kept plowing through and hardly stumbled at all. I couldn’t be more proud!

Check THIS out!

That’s right – i’m ROCKIN the WOAP, bitches!

That’s right – i am finally, FINALLY AHEAD! for the first time this year, my word count is RIGHT WHERE IT SHOULD BE!

And it’s all because of Big Brother – who says reality tv is bad?!?

Deciding that I should count all those words I get paid for as WoaP too – BRILLIANT. 145k words, people. WHOOOOHOOOOO!