Dear PTB: Should my lazy teenager get a job?
It’s Sunday! We’ve made it a week of posting EVERY SINGLE DAY! I know you’re excited too, right? (…hello? Is this thing on? Anybody here? Bueller?!) So today, I thought I’d open up the mailbag, and see what question popped up first. Remember, you can ask PTB for snarky answers to you’re teenager woes too! Just click right here (or hit the Ask PTB link at the top of the page!) and we’ll get our snark on!
Today’s Question:
My teenager thinks I’m made of money! He goes to school, sleeps, doesn’t help around the house and expects me to hand him cash every time he needs something! I can’t afford this – should I make him get a job?
— Frustrated (and broke!) Mom.
Well, first off, FM – have you tried to make him do anything yet? Because in my experience, teenagers don’t “make” well. I tried to make mine get out of bed before noon on a weekend once! I tried everything! Have you seen that commercial where the mom simply uses windex to clean the windows and the extra sunlight got her kids up? Yeah. NEVER HAPPENS.
But that’s beside the point. A job! There’s a lot of different opinions on the job issue, a lot of factors go into deciding if a teen should work or not, and how much if he does get a job. Here are some things to consider:
1. Social life: Does he have one? Does he want one? Who pays for it if he does?
2. School: Is he a good student? Can he keep up his grades if you add work into the mix? Is the job he’s seeking flexible enough with his schedule so that he can keep his grades up?
3. Sports: Does he have time for the above, plus sports if he’s into that, and is his job flexible enough for a sports schedule?
4. Money: Here’s the tricky part. Can you afford to pay for his car, gas, activities, etc? Does he get an allowance to pay for those, and is there a limit on ‘extras’ he can ask for? Have you discussed finances with him? Why the hell not?
I know that money is often a far more dirty word than ‘sex’ or ‘drugs’ when it comes time to talk to you’re teenager, but if you don’t train him in good financial habits now, you are only doing your child a disservice. Whether you encourage him to get a job or not, teaching him budgeting is a must, so that he learns the value of saving for something he really wants, because that’s what happens in the real world.
If you and your teen make the decision that he needs a job, then there will be quite a bit of adjusting for the both of you. All I can really say is what’s worked for us – and also what I ALWAYS say: TALK TO YOUR TEEN.
Yeah, you know I was gonna say it, didn’t ya?
Around here the rule is:
Want to drive? Get a job and pay for your own gas/insurance. I can’t afford it.
Want a car? See above.
I relax a lot about them doing things around the house if they’re working, especially as The Boy works so many hours. He’s rocking a 40+ hour work week, plus school. He does have Work Release, so gets out of school early, and often uses that time to nap, but it’s still pretty hard on him. But he bought his own truck, handles his insurance, and has plenty of cash left over to do whatever he wants. (It usually involves sharp and pointy things. Boys!)
I don’t ask him to pay any bills aside from his insurance. His job, his money. He works as hard as he wants to get what he wants, and that’s ok with me. Time will come all too soon when he has to support himself.
Bottom line is this: Talk to you teen, and see what their goals are. Then work together to find a solution.
Strong as Steel Sweepstakes!
It’s November, and that means our Strong as Steel sweepstakes is winding down soon! Have YOU entered today?
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Happy Saturday, everyone!
The next American Idol!
Yesterday, in the quiet of my home, I spotted her. She slunk about in the shadows, hoping to keep her face hidden, while belting out her and her friends rewrite to the smash hit I believe I can Fly into a properly teenage girl emo gigglefest called I believe I can die.
I was able to capture just a couple verses of this performance, as she suddenly became camera shy. She also rolled her eyes when I had the audacity to ask “…swirly twirls?!”
Clearly, I am not Cool enough to understand the logic behind being shot with mystical items that rhyme, by the FBI. I am, however, cool enough to have flipped the camera settings over to get this shot of the performer in question to the right. Like most American Idol contestants – she really gives her all into every performance – so Let’s Hear it for the Girl!
(…aaaaaaaaaaaw let’s give the girl a haaaaaaaand! Let’s hear it for my BABY… you know you gotta understaaaaaaaaeeeaaaaeeeeaaand… oh oh oh maybe she’s no romeo, but she’s my lovin one girl show, ooooooooooeeeeOOOOOOOOOOOOO oooooooOOOOOOOOOh let’s hear it for the giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl!)
PS: …I have NO idea where Peppermist gets this singing quirk. None.
PPS: You’re welcome for the earworm, Nana!
The BEST Halloween Costumes EVER!
Ok – this is my last halloween post, I swear! I just had to share the kick-ass costumes that Z’s mom made for our boys! What was shocking is that so few people in our town have seen The Nightmare Before Christmas, and the boys had to explain their costumes more than once. TSK. What’s this world coming too, when such an awesome film is neglected?!
No matter – I’m sure YOU guys recognize these fellas, right?
That’s The Boy as Sandy Claws, St. as Oogie Boogie, and Z as Jack the Pumpkin King. The Boy DID find himself to be COMPLETELY popular by the younger kids, who wanted to get in early requests with Santa! Totally AWESOME job on the costumes, by The Boy’s “other” Mom! Thanks for all your hard work!
We had some last minute trick or treaters, too.
You know you live in Alaska when you expect to find shiny happy faces – and instead are greeted with Moose Butt (I’ll spare you THAT picture! Ha!) – followed by her turning around with a “What?” expression while she eats your last jack o lantern, playing keep away from her babies until she finishes all the choice bits.
Photo by The Twins' Mom from my driveway as she picked up her girls.
Yeah. Only in Alaska… Don’t you wish YOU could go trick or treating here?
The Top Five Reasons I'm Glad The Boy Took Shop Class
Counting down, Letterman style…
5. Power Tools Make Boys Happy.
Now, I’m sure they make girls happy too, but well, we’re talking about The Boy here, and he has that gene that makes his eyes light up when he plugs in a power tool. That evil little gleam that he inherited from his father, that says “I can TAKE STUFF APART with this!” I always wondered why that gleam didn’t also say “I can FIX THINGS with this!” too.
4. I never worry about him NAPPING in shop class.
For the boy who prefers to sleep his way through high school, this is a plus. A love of Power Tools and Many Loud Noises means he’s not sleeping in at least ONE class this semester!
3. It’s useful stuff, they’re learning!
This isn’t algebra, where you are sure you’ll never use it again – never in the history of EVER, even. This is a class that teaches them how to fix things around the house. AKA: Make Mom Happy. In theory, anyway, as that doesn’t mean they ARE fixing stuff around the house. It just means they CAN fix things around the house. With their power tools. That they love. And use to dismantle entire rooms.
2. They teach them stuff about CARS too!
Like, more than “this is where the key goes, car goes vroom!” stuff! That’s the extent of my car knowledge, but the boy? He’s rewired The Beast’s wire harness, fixed headlights, tail lights, checked fluids, rebuilt full engines, done oil changes… this is all useful stuff for my son to know! Why? Because…
1. He VOLUNTEERED to take MY CAR to school today for an oil change!
That’s right. I bought the oil, the filter, and handed him the keys, and I get a free oil change from the boys at school. Even without all that other stuff? That would CERTAINLY be reason enough to have you’re kids take shop class, right? EXACTLY right!
… I wonder if I can get Peppermist to take shop class next year…
Think if I bribe her with the picture above – and promise her that’s what ALL the boys in shop class look like that – think that’ll work?
