Tapping our cell phones…
Can it be done, is it being done, and how do you know?
We’ve heard that the government can do it, and has done it, but there are ways for the every day joe willing to pay the price to tap into our cell phones too. Nana sent me this link, which is an investigative report done on just such a thing.
It boiles down to this – someone was able to download a spy software onto a ladies phone, and then they were able to track her moves – getting a satellite update on her location, get her text messages, and all her incoming and outgoing calls.
Scary stuff.
So what can you do for you and your teenagers? First and foremost, keep a close eye on your cell phone – don’t let anyone get a chance to put anything on your phone while you’re not looking. You can also put a security password in so no one else can use it, if you feel you’re vulnerable to this sort of thing. You can remove the battery when you’re not using it, and look for these signs that something may be wrong:
– Cell phone battery is warm even when your phone has not been used
– Cell phone lights up at unexpected times, including occasions when phone is not in use
– Unexpected beep or click during phone conversation
It seems excessive, sure – but when it comes to protecting ourselves and our teens, the best thing we can do is be aware of what CAN happen, so that we’ll be prepared if something DOES happen.
Protecting our kids…
With the kids all starting school, at all ages, we’re once again having to trust we’ve taught them what they need to know in order to protect themselves while they’re away from our (often over-)protective grasp. As with everything, I encourage one rule, first and foremost and that is for the parents: TALK TO YOUR KIDS. While some subjects are sensitive, and assault is certainly one of them, it’s a very important conversation to have, and have more than once.
RAINN – the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network – has posted some guidelines to help protect our children from Sexual Assault, and how to talk to our kids about them. We’re surrounded by messages about it through the media, but there’s not a lot of advice about how to talk to our kids. They’ve set up guidelines that are simple and clear, and worth a read. The most important thing, of course, is that no matter how uncomfortable these conversations can be, the important thing is that they happen.
The three Keys that RAINN stress are these:
— Talk to your children about sexuality and sexual abuse in age-appropriate terms.
— Be involved in your child’s life.
— Be available.
We need to empower our kids to say “No” and make sure they feel comfortable coming to us, as parents and trusted adults, if something happens, or they suspect something might. Also, you’ve heard me rant on victim blaming before (if not, stay tuned, I probably will again) – so make sure while you’re talking to your kids, that they know that it’s not the way they are dressed, the way that they talk, or even the way that they walk that attracts the attention of an abuser – the abuser is in wrong, period. Teaching modesty is good. Blaming attacks on a short skirt or tight shirt? Is not.
But in the end – no matter how you go about it, what you choose to say, the most important thing is that these talks happen, so that our kids have every weapon at their disposal for protecting themselves when we’re not around.
PS: Check out RAINN’s back to school tips too! It’s aimed at our college students, but works for our High School teens as well. College aged women are the highest risk for being sexually assaulted. Being aware is often the first step in staying safe!
Ok, universe – stop!
WTF Universe? Srsly. WTF?
So he failed his test. That was bad enough, and he was quite upset – but his day was not to get much better, because, when The boy returned home from work that night, we discovered his Ferret was having seizures, and had severely dehydrated himself over the previous 24 hours. He stood there with tears in his eyes, I explained that I wasn’t sure anything could be done, but how to try to get the little guy to drink some water, and to just cuddle and love on him for a while.
By morning, it was clear there was nothing that could be done.
I talked it over with The Boy, before school, and he asked me to take the lil guy to the vet, and if it was decided there was nothing that could be done, to take care of it before he got home. He went to get ready for school, and hit the garage door with his fist as he headed to his room.
“Mom, I think I just broke my hand.”
…
Yeah. So I checked his hand – he said it didn’t really hurt much, it wasn’t swelling right away, so I took him to school, then called Auntie Ladybug, so that she could help deal with the Ferret. At the vet, they found a mass they were pretty sure would be discovered to be cancer. Bottom line – he was in pain, and too far gone already. There was nothing that could be done, so we had to put him down. Auntie Ladybug and I buried him in the backyard, next to our cat that died a few years ago of old age.
It wasn’t easy, at all, to make the decision, and to hear the pain and sadness in his voice when he called to ask if it was done. When I picked him up though, there was another cause for the pain. His hand was swollen, and it was clear he had indeed done more damage to his hand rather than to my door.
So, it was off to the doctor – on a time crunch, as I needed to work at 4pm – and we got him seen. He’d fractured the metacarpal ‘neck’ of his right pinky – the spot just below the knuckle in his hand. We got him splinted up, and called in to his work to get the night off, and than dashed home so that I could do my job too.
At some point, in the doctors office, I knew he’d started to get a handle on things, and return to the boy I see every day. Wanna know what clued me in? When he was standing behind the cute PA at the computer, and mimed grabbing her butt – and referred to her afterward as “the one with the grabbable ass….”
That’s my boy.
(but Universe? If you could give us a rest between beatings, I’d sure appreciate it. At the very least, provide me with happy drugs – like, oh, margarita’s as big as my head? ktnxbai!)
Not so much.
![P100709_10.10_[02]](http://parentingteensblog.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/P100709_10.10_02-300x225.jpg "P100709_10.10_[02]")
“Bet you’re happy now, huh?”
That was the first thing he said when we got to the privacy of the car. Talk about a knife to the heart… because 1. it was completely untrue, and 2. I can’t stand it when my kids are upset.
He knows better, of course, he’s just upset. You see, today was the big day – and he didn’t pass his driver’s test. Rumor has it he got the toughest instructor, and afterwards as we deconstructed what she’d said, it came down to a few things, but it included the fact that she simply did not communicate very well. The worst part for me though, was that she made him WAIT for 15 minutes when we got back before telling him he didn’t pass.
We know what to work on though, and she did have a glowing compliment for his defensive driving skills (He avoided an accident – one SHE didn’t see coming… though she auto failed him for something she thought “might” have caused one himself by pulling onto the highway with what she judged to be not enough room. Even after she’d marked him down for hesitating too long the turn before that. Sigh.)
So, in two weeks we try again, and as soon as hes done being mad about it, we’ll get to practicing once more. Now he knows the general route they’ll take him out on, how they phrase things (like “take the outer turn lane” – uh, is that LEFT or RIGHT lady?!) and the few things he needs to work on.
Like using the blinker before parallel parking. Which was TOTALLY my bad – because uh, we don’t parallel park around here at ALL. So I couldn’t remember, ya know? But now we know. And next time, it’ll be all system’s go.
Gives him another 2 weeks to fix up The Beast to drivable status, anyway.
(…but oh. This Mama’s heart hurts for him…)
Some days…
Some days, in this whole parenting teens business, I have moments where I really appreciate my real mom, and what she had to go through. And by that, I mean in raising my sister, because I was the perfect child and teenager, and never did anything wrong.
Stop laughing.
Anyway – AS I was SAYING.. the number one thing parenting has taught me is that my mom was a lot smarter, and a lot more patient than I thought at the time. She never could have taught me that lesson, but she delights in watching my kids do it.
Take today for example. You see, Peppermist has decided to stay in the band for another year for one reason only – Spring Break Band Trip. They’ll be going to Florida to participate in a festival, and she’s been looking forward to it. We found out about the trip at the end of last year, and were told we would get more information the first week of school.
What we got was a demand for the first payment, in a week.
…you don’t EVEN want to know my reaction to that. Or when I asked if we could make a double payment in October after dividends (which is paying for the trip) get here, and was very snootily told “Just take it from your savings or put it on your credit card.” Way to assume I have either, bitch. Sheesh. (I don’t. Heh.)
I manged to scrape it together (don’t ask, and mom, don’t worry!) and sent it in an envelope with her to school yesterday, knowing it was due today and we were in the clear until October’s payment.
Fast forward to this morning – Peppermist is sick with an earache so bad it makes her cry, so after I was done laughing at her, (…what?) I let her stay home. She called her BFF when school is over, and asked her to get the payment to the office. The payment she left in her locker yesterday, instead of turning it in like she was told. The payment that now is officially ‘late’ as the office doesn’t accept such things after 5th period. The payment which now has me so irritated I could probably kick her ass all the way to Florida with one swift punt to the britches. Yeah. THAT payment.
She enticed her BFF to try anyway, and I grabbed the house phone and called the office, and begged the secretary to please make an exception as Peppermist wasn’t at school today. Then, her BFF didn’t answer her phone or call to let us know it was accepted. So what did I have to do? Get into the car, take Peppermist to school, so that she could check at the office to make sure that the payment was made, and she was in the clear.
It’s days like this that make me appreciate my mom, and all the crap my sister we put her through: the numerous trips to school and back, multiple times a day, sometimes, for various reasons, the trips that cash was scraped up for, and even her exasperated look which I’m well on my way to perfecting myself.
So, in case I haven’t said it lately? Thanks, mom. You rock.
(…can I have a ride to the mall?)
(J/K)
