{"id":1076,"date":"2007-11-11T14:01:27","date_gmt":"2007-11-11T22:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2007\/11\/11\/how-to-mortify-and-scar-your-kids-in-3-seconds-flat\/"},"modified":"2007-11-11T14:02:38","modified_gmt":"2007-11-11T22:02:38","slug":"how-to-mortify-and-scar-your-kids-in-3-seconds-flat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2007\/11\/11\/how-to-mortify-and-scar-your-kids-in-3-seconds-flat\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday&#8217;s How To:"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>How to mortify and scar your kids in 3 seconds flat:\u00c2\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Me: (answers all the puzzles correctly on Wheel of Fortune)<\/p>\n<p>The Boy: Mom! you should go on that show! You&#8217;d ROCK IT!<\/p>\n<p>Me: Nah, too much pressure.<\/p>\n<p>The Boy: What do you mean?<\/p>\n<p>Me: All those people and actually being timed and stuff? Nah. I suck under pressure.<\/p>\n<p>(&#8230;pause&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>Me: That&#8217;s why all the boys love me.<\/p>\n<p>The Boy: &#8230;.. MOM! OMG GROOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! BAD PICTURE! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!<\/p>\n<p>Me: (smirk)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to mortify and scar your kids in 3 seconds flat:\u00c2\u00a0 Me: (answers all the puzzles correctly on Wheel of Fortune) The Boy: Mom! you should go on that show! You&#8217;d ROCK IT! Me: Nah, too much pressure. The Boy: What do you mean? Me: All those people and actually being timed and stuff? Nah. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2007-nablopomo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1076"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1076\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}