…it feels like nothing matters. Nothing that I do, nothing that I am, nothing that I could be. Sometimes, I feel lost, and weak, and pathetic, and stupid. Sometimes I am positive I am an idiot, and only have what I deserve, and if I don’t have it, it is because someone else deserves it more. <\/p>\n
Sometimes, it’s just too much to be the strong one, the one who takes care of everyone and everything. Sometimes I want to curl up and cry until I can’t cry anymore. <\/p>\n
Sometimes, I am simply too tired to function any longer.<\/p>\n
…sometimes, I wonder why it is there is no one to take care of me.<\/p>\n
So instead of indulging in sometimes, I’m going to eat my dinner, I’m going to take a shower, I’m going to finish crying there, and then wipe my eyes, and go see a stupid movie with a friend, and laugh even while my heart feels like it’s breaking for no reason at all, and smile, even though somewhere inside it still hurts. <\/p>\n
And someday, there will be someone who will care enough to be there when I need them <\/p>\n
…sometimes.<\/p>\n
~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n
I know there are people who take care of me too – don’t take this as a slight in any way. Sometimes it’s hard to keep sight of that, and be strong enough for everyone else too. Yes, I know you want to tell me I don’t have to be – but we all know that is exactly what I am, and always will be. <\/p>\n
I’m simply having a day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
…it feels like nothing matters. Nothing that I do, nothing that I am, nothing that I could be. Sometimes, I feel lost, and weak, and pathetic, and stupid. Sometimes I am positive I am an idiot, and only have what I deserve, and if I don’t have it, it is because someone else deserves it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotional"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2667"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2668,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2667\/revisions\/2668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2667"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2667"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2667"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}