{"id":344,"date":"2005-12-27T13:56:35","date_gmt":"2005-12-27T22:56:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2005\/12\/27\/instant-wakeup\/"},"modified":"2005-12-27T15:33:37","modified_gmt":"2005-12-28T00:33:37","slug":"instant-wakeup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2005\/12\/27\/instant-wakeup\/","title":{"rendered":"Proof that Some Mondays are really on Tuesdays."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Self,<br \/>\nWhen half asleep and letting the dog out, please take note when she refuses to step in a certain area and DO NOT STEP THERE YOURSELF &#8211; for that will save you from realizing you just stepped into a very large puddle of dogpuke that is still warm and squishy between the toes of your, naturally, bare feet.<\/p>\n<p>Self, your an idiot.<br \/>\n(bloody fuckin dog.)<\/p>\n<p>All together now: eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Self, When half asleep and letting the dog out, please take note when she refuses to step in a certain area and DO NOT STEP THERE YOURSELF &#8211; for that will save you from realizing you just stepped into a very large puddle of dogpuke that is still warm and squishy between the toes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}