{"id":402,"date":"2006-01-20T02:04:50","date_gmt":"2006-01-20T11:04:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2006\/01\/20\/that-fucking-bitch\/"},"modified":"2006-01-20T02:14:20","modified_gmt":"2006-01-20T11:14:20","slug":"that-fucking-bitch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2006\/01\/20\/that-fucking-bitch\/","title":{"rendered":"THAT. FUCKING. BITCH."},"content":{"rendered":"

THAT FUCKING BITCH<\/a> called just now. It’s not even fucking midnight. In fact, it’s 11:30. And if I’m not letting my dog out at 3:30 as usual, I need her to go out NOW. So I let her out. And there’s a cat. And she barks. Or there’s a breeze and she barks, wtf ever. And I get a call.<\/p>\n

I love caller ID. I didn’t answer it. I was on my way to the bathroom and well, if I heard her whiny bullshit little fake ass bitchy voice, i’da lost it. Sure enough – hit the message “would you pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase bring in your dog?”<\/p>\n

Um, lemme think.<\/p>\n

NO YOU FUCKING CUNT! IT ain’t even midnight – at which time i had PLANNED on locking her in the damn house, so as not to listen to the little witch (which means I’ll be awake at the same time as always and listening to the dog pace) and I’ll put her out at 6:00 am. Which of course should be fine, becaus ehtat’s when THEY get up.<\/p>\n

I do not work on that schedule. Just like they don’t work on mine. They don’t give a FUCK about waking up the neighborhood at 5am while going off to work, or running belt sanders, or any of the previously mentioned things I don’t bitch about. Like TONIGHT – they had the road BLOCKED with cars – there was like 7 of them! All racing down the street, turning around in my driveway, and I didn’t say a WORD. because I didn’t CARE. I have NEVER COMPLAINED about her shit that she thinks don’t stink.<\/p>\n

So you know what? They can wait till fucking midnight to have her inside. As they’ve NEVER complained about it before? OBVIOUSLY it’s not a problem unless they’re still awake anyway. So take THAT.<\/p>\n

Worst thing is, since the dog actually was ready to come in before midnight, she’s gonna think she won. But oh. I’ve got NEWS for her. *SMIRK* This is FAR from over.<\/p>\n

The perfect neighbor is about to meet the perfect bitch.<\/p>\n

Bring it on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THAT FUCKING BITCH called just now. It’s not even fucking midnight. In fact, it’s 11:30. And if I’m not letting my dog out at 3:30 as usual, I need her to go out NOW. So I let her out. And there’s a cat. And she barks. Or there’s a breeze and she barks, wtf ever. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiery-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}