I. I have seen the future! And it is FRIGHTENING! I tell you now! I am STILL SHAKING!<\/p>\n
…with laughter! but STILL!<\/p>\n
See, Auntie Ladybug was parked in my spot in the driveway so I parked behind the bug. After she left, i said to TheBoy (in a fit of PURE INSANITY i swear) “Well, go head, pull the car into it’s rightful spot.” He was all SERIOUSLY? and I was all “aw fuck did I just say that out LOUD? guess so. alright.”<\/p>\n
So we get into the car, me in the passenger seat, which is something I don’t like anyway (why yes, I am a control freak, why do you ask?) and him in the driver’s seat (did you hear my heart break right there? did ya? huh?). He was a little nervous – which made me laugh, and I reminded him he’s been starting the car for me for like 3 years now, so just start the damn thing already.<\/p>\n
So. We got it started, and I tell him to put his foot on the break, and put it into reverse so he could back up. He did, and then with his LEFT FOOT ON THE BREAK he HIT THE GAS WITH THE RIGHT FOOT and spinspinspinspinspinspun the wheels and I yelled “STOP!” and he slammed the break again, and I reswallowed my heart. “Just one foot, son. Just one.”<\/p>\n
He heh’d me (he HEH’d me!) and said ok, and we tried again. And ZOOMED in reverse until I went “STOP!” again. “Son. be gentle with the acelerator – it only takes a little. We’re only going down the driveway.” and he said ok, and we put it into drive, and I promptly lost all feeling in my extremities, and he pulled us into the driveway…<\/p>\n
…leaving me .025 inches between the jeep and the bug, and my heart once again lurking somewhere around my tonsils as I grabbed the wheel, and strangled out a “….good…good…um. Almost hit your bug though, let’s back up and straighten it up a bit and try once more.”<\/p>\n
So, back again – slower this time thank goodness, and then I helped him steer us in correctly so as not to relinquish total control<\/strike> hit the bug again and leave me room to exit the vehicle.<\/p>\n
Which I did, and he did, and i manged to hold back my desire to bend down and kiss the earth shouting “LAND! GLORIOUS LAND!” because, you know, that would have been overkill. a little. sorta. yeah.<\/p>\n
Instead, I was a good mommy, and said only “Congrats, you’ve just had your first driving lesson.” then, as soon as he was outa hearing, I called Papa – who taught all us how to drive, and went all hysterical “YOU HAVE TO TEACH HIM TO DRIVE! OMG I CAN’T EVEN FATHOM DOING THIS!” while he laughed heartily and tossed in a few ‘you deserve this’ peppered with many ‘MUHAHAHAHA’s’ thrown in for good measure.<\/p>\n
OMFG. This mothering teenagers thing? So not cool. not cool at all.<\/p>\n