{"id":983,"date":"2007-02-19T15:07:56","date_gmt":"2007-02-20T00:07:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2007\/02\/19\/crap\/"},"modified":"2007-02-19T15:22:38","modified_gmt":"2007-02-20T00:22:38","slug":"crap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/2007\/02\/19\/crap\/","title":{"rendered":"CRAP!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Crap fuckityfuckin’ CRAP!<\/p>\n

It’s all my mother’s fault. She insisted. So finally, because I AM A GOOD DAUGHTER who lives to MAKE MY MOM HAPPY, I succumbed to her desires and wishes and pleadings and demandings and it’s ALL HER FAULT BECAUSE MY MOMMY MADE ME DO IT!<\/p>\n

What is her fault? I entered the local Library’s Writer’s Night writing contest<\/a>. Which would be fine, except that the winners of said contest are chosen and expected to attend the Writer’s Night and READ THEIR WINNING PEICES OUTLOUD. <\/strong>In front of people. WITH A MICROPHONE. In. Front. Of. People!<\/strong><\/p>\n

You see where this is going, right? My mother, who is a better public speaker then I could ever hope to be, as well as a fantastic writer, wasn’t chosen. I – the sucky writer who cannot speak in front of people without getting sick and shakey and freaking the fuck out<\/em> – had a piece chosen. A piece that is THREE PAGES LONG and must be read OUT LOUD in a room FULL OF PEOPLE.<\/p>\n

FUCK!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

It’s so my mother’s fault. She’s said she’ll read for me if I chicken out – and I an hear her making clucking noises and stuff already and omg people – freaking. the hell. out. I get SICK! SICK, I say! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!<\/p>\n

Wonder how many times I can say “FUCK!” in my bio I have to write and submit asap…<\/p>\n

(and yup – it’s an honor to be chosen (i won i won i won!) and YAY and all that stuff too! But really- CRAP!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Crap fuckityfuckin’ CRAP! It’s all my mother’s fault. She insisted. So finally, because I AM A GOOD DAUGHTER who lives to MAKE MY MOM HAPPY, I succumbed to her desires and wishes and pleadings and demandings and it’s ALL HER FAULT BECAUSE MY MOMMY MADE ME DO IT! What is her fault? I entered the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,7,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-983","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-primaries-family","category-fiery-rants","category-myriad"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/983","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=983"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/983\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=983"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=983"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gonfalon.org\/eclat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=983"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}