Kaleidoscopic Eclat

So, the girl comes home today, and soon as her brother makes scarce, I go all singsong teasy on her “sooooooooOOOOOoooooo did THATBOY sit by you at lunch again today?”

TheGirl: No.
Me: No?
TheGirl: No - i had to eat quick so I could go see Ms. B again about the talent show remember?
Me: Oh! Ok. So no sitting with the boy.
TheGirl: Besides - all the tables were filled so we couldn’t find any seats together.
Me: do WHAT? So you were LOOKING for seats together so you could sit, but the whole school was agianst you?
TheGirl: Um. uh. Well. uh. Ya see. I.
Me: You weren’t gonna TELL me you TRIED to sit together, is that it? As it insinuates a PRIOR agreement to MEET where - at your locker? and walk TO the lunchroom TOGETHER all for the purposes of sitting together for lunch?
The Girl: Well, uh..
Me: Did ya make mooony love eyes at him across the table?
The Girl: No! We uh, were facing different directions.
Me: Oh, so it was little glances over your shoulder then…
TheGirl: MOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Me: I see. And typing class?
TheGirl: siiiiiigh - i don’t have typing anymore.

Harumph. The little wench tried to hide TheRestOfTheStory! Then!

TheGirl: Mom? Why’d you have to replace dad?
Me: Huh?
TheGirl: Well, if HE was here, you’d be all EXCITED about this boy..
Me: Replace him? Darling, I have yet to forbid you to sit next to him, threaten to shoot him, or TELL YOUR BROTHER about him…
TheGirl: Oh. Um. Never mind. I love you mommy!
Me: THATs what I thought. *Smirk*

Harumph. Seriously. Chastity Belts!

…HUH? Why on earth do I come up as the number one search result for man boobs marijuana?

Seriously! I’ve always wanted to be number one - but um, could we talk about which words put me in such an enviable position? Please?

Thanks.
~L

(*L* It is to a monthly archive page, which explains it, as its not one entry, but several - but still.)

So, today, Lessa had to get up early (after going to bed, late late late!) from her nap, and bleerily stare outside at the 0 degree weather and mutter. Yes. For today The Boy had a speech in class, and it was on Rottweilers. Conveniently enough, we HAVE one, who was needed for the show and tell portion of his speech. So, at about 11am, we, Sacha and I, got into the oh so cold and complaining car to bounce over to the Jr. High School.

Where she took me on a walk to the door. No, i didn’t take HER for a walk. She took ME. for she was very excited. Now - pulling ME takes some serious strength people - but eventually, I won the battle of “no you will follow ME” wills, and we entered the school.

I did have the camera with me - obviously, but there are so many GOOD SMELLS THAT MUST BE SMELLED RIGHT NOW inside the school, that I couldn’t get it out of my pocket for I was holding back 110 pounds of muscle from bounding [JOYOUSLY! OH! THE SMELLS!] through the halls. So I shall describe those first classroom moments for you instead.

Picture this: 25 8th grade teenagers, packed into a room. One very skinny teacher at the head. The boy opens the door, and goes in first. Sacha follows. There is a cacophony of sound that follows instantly.

• a massive inhaled gasp - 25 people strong.
• chairs scraping backwards as people LEAAAAAAAAAAN BACK
• a muttered under the breath curse or two followed by “thats a HUGE DOG!”
• a greeting by the teacher. for the dog, first, then me. heh.

It would have been a BEAUTIFUL picture, but alas, my hands were full.

So, the boy gave his speech, and then he answered questions about Sacha in particular. They asked for tricks, and so we got her to sing for everyone. Then The Boy took her around to greet everyone in the classroom. Sacha? Behaved BEAUTIFULLY. She slobbered and licked and was petted and loved on. Which of course she, in her doggydivadom, clearly deserves. One teacher went to enter the room, took one look at the dog and SLAMMED the door shut. I laughed. Heh.

So - after about 15 minutes of loving up on and being loved by a whole classroom of kids, Sacha submitted to a photo op just before we left, and then she walked me back to the car, pausing only to frollick in the snow, and SMELL THE GLORIOUS SMELLS SO MANY SMELLS OH MY GOD ITS A CORNICOPIA OF DELIGHT and then ride home.

I’m very proud of how well she behaved for being such a happy sit in your lap kinda dog who forgets how big she is. *chuckles* The funny thing was, most of the GIRLS in the classroom were far more willing to hug up on and love up on her then the boys. Chickenshit boys. *L* But I think she portrayed how real loving Rotties can be with her true diva puppy style.

But man. My arms are gonna KILL me tomorrow. *L*

50 year old men - the new “teenage drama queens” - O.M.F.G.