SHE’S TOO YOUNG! alternately titled “STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!” or “I’M NOT READY!”

Oh. My. God.

Ok – So, here’s todays update on THAT BOY. As you can see by the picture (MOM! you’re not putting that on the INTERNET ARE YOU? Oh yes. child. yes I am.) The girl came home all giggly and with a NOTE. A yellow sticky pad note in fact. Once finding out that her brother was not in earshot, I got to SEE said note. On it, it says, and I quote: “will u go out with me, please? DON’T LAUGH!” When I reswallowed my heart, I said “Well, what did you say?” and my daughter, my lovely girl, reconfirmed that she is a GOOD girl. “I told him I’d have to talk to my mom, first.”

Score a point for the girl!

But I am SO NOT READY FOR THIS! OMG.

The full story went something like this. Apparently during lunch today he was all nervous and such and kept saying “i dunno how to say this” and scratching his head and pacing and she was all “uh, say what?” and HE was all “You know!” and she was all “….know what?” (way to play hard to get girly! whoot!) (obviously I’m of more then one mind about all this. *L*) And then he was all “The way they do it on the MOVIES is stupid, and the way they do it on TV is bull, and GAH! YOU know!” and she said “know WHAT?” And finally he asked someone for a piece of paper and that someone wouldn’t give him one so he ran all the way to the office and got a sticky note and wrote on it and ran back.

And then he showed her the “don’t laugh” part. and she said “i won’t laugh” and he said “promise!” and she said promise! and he said “PINKY SWEAR!” and she pinky swore!
and then he showed her the rest of the note! and she got all blushy! and giggly! and then said “I’ll have to talk to my mom” and he said “cool!”

OH.
My.
Fucking.
God!

I am so not ready for this. For the boy, I was prepared a bit, but WHERE DID THIS COME FROM? she is TOO YOUNG! At only 11 (11.5 mom!) dating is a total no go. So, We started laying ground rules involving THATBOY.

1. You can hang out at school and during school functions as you have been. For school functions I will drop you off and pick you up as normal. There is the big 6th grade dance in a couple months, and you may attend that. I will drop you off and pick you up as normal. He will arrange for his own ride.
2. If there is a party, that is chaperoned, and i know the parents and kids attending, you may attend. I will drop you off and pick you up as normal. He will arrange for his own ride.
3. If there is a movie that we as a family are attending – and by family i mean INCLUDING YOUR BROTHER – he may attend also. His family can drop him off and pick him up unless it is arranged before hand BETWEEN US PARENTS, not you children. And you are too children stop looking at me like that. (Can we sit in a different row? – you may sit DIRECTLY in front of me or in the same row – How about two rows ahead, or across the isle – you can not attend any movie – in front of you is good – that’s what I thought.)
4. Yes, you may ask him to attend Church Awanas with you on wednesdays. His parents will have to drop him off and pick him up.
5. Then she asked all hopefully “Can I give him my phone number?” and I was like thinking (NO! DAMMIT NO!) “you haven’t already?” but said “Yes, you may. We will discuss time limits and other limits on the phone, however, if you start spending ALL your time on the phone.”

OY VEY! And here I thought our FIRST step would be getting through the whole monthly curse deal. But oh no. She wants a BOYFRIEND! OMFG!!!!

Someone pass me the paperbag to breathe into. GAH!!!!

And then I called papa to have him bust out the guns to load and knives to sharpen and oh. my. GAWD. Papa, of course, on hearing the contents of the note, said “Sure. i’d LOVE to go out with him.” and then he heard my stipulations on any out of school interaction, and he just started LAUGHING. “Seems I’ve heard all this before!” and I was like yes. but I WAS ALMOST 16!!! and he said “That don’t matter.  Perhaps I should tell this boy that I can be bribed – not cheaply, but I can be”

and thus ended Papa’s chance of chaperoning! HARUMPH!