He’s SO screwed!

So, I haven’t written in a while – not that I haven’t had anything blogworthy to post, oh no, but more so because I’ve become busy living life, again, instead of writing about wanting too. You see, I met a man.

Ok, not really MET him, because I’ve actually known him since he was four years old, since my mama was his preschool teacher. (Yes, I’m older than him. Not by much. Shhh.) He works in the Subway at my Walmart store and we reconnected…

And then we CONNECTED.. if ya know what I mean.. (hehehehe)

So he came over one night after he finally got out of a shitty relationship, and well, he hasn’t left yet. That was almost two months ago 🙂 (and, as the joke goes, that’s how i got my LAST husband. Hm. Addictive, ain’t I? Hehehe) So we moved the important stuff in first, and then his other stuff, and I rearranged the bedroom so we didn’t have to crawl over each other to go pee in the middle of the night (though there’s fun in that, too. hee) and we settled in.

And that’s where the story REALLY starts. You see, he has this lovely large…

…tv, and we wanted to hook it up, and he said as we were moving him in “Don’t let me lose these – they’re the screws to the tv. Very important!” and he tucked them into his pocket. The Girl, she convinced him to put them into an envelope, which he showed to me and said again “Don’t lose these!” And I nodded and went back to WoW. Cuz I’m a nerd. Shush.

Then.
THEN.

THEN! For the past, oh, month and a half or so, it’s been things like: “Where are those screws?” and “Well, if your mom hadn’t lost the screws..” and so on and so forth. All in good fun of course, but I was seriously wracking my brain to figure out where I’d put the mothereffin SCREWS. They were NO where, and worse? I didn’t remember physically TOUCHING them, so couldn’t put together any frame of reference as to where they might be! I remembered where he was standing when he showed me the envelope then….

Nothing.
Nada.
I felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad!
Apparently, I had lost the screws.

Or.
Did.
I…….

Tonight, he comes home, and at some point decides to look in the TV box to see if they’re there. I would have laughed SO much – but alas, no screws. None. Then. Then he comes into our room, and picks up his laptop case… and shuts it.

Fast.

Oh yes. HE HAD PUT THEM IN HIS LAPTOP CASE. Which means no – I had NEVER EVER EVEN TOUCHED THE BLOODY SCREWS! And He gave me hell for almost TWO MONTHS! And I felt genuinely BAD about the lost screws and HE HAD THEM ALL ALONG!

Oh, I’m gonna get SOOOOOOOOO much mileage from this one! HAHAHAHAHAHA! IT. WASN’T. ME.

*Snicker*
So. So.

SCREWED!

PS: already got dinner and dancing promised to me… what else do ya think I can get? Heheheheheheheheh. oh and..
PPS: I’m so telling his mommy on him tomorrow when we visit! HAHAHAHAH

Ahem.
🙂