Shear Genius – In the Dark.
Hurray! It’s time for the pure camp that is Shear Genius – where contestants must cut, or be cut. (DundunDUN!) The countries 12 top stylists have been gathered in LA where they’ll be styling their way to the top. They join Jaclyn Smith where it’s time for their first shortcut challenge. They get a five minute consult and then 45 minutes to do a cut. The hair models walk in and they’re all wearing safety glasses, and we find out why moments later – the stylists are to do the cuts blindfolded. I’d be bustin out of there like RIGHT now. Heh.
Luckily no one chops up their model, though there are some that cut up their own hands too. Naturally all of the stylists are happy with their creations, because at this point no ones gonna say “Oh I totally butchered that.” Kim goes through and judges them all and fluffs their hair and basically makes me cringe for the models because dude, get your hands and comb away from me already (…sometimes I lose my ‘girl card’, I know. i don’t like shoes either.) Dallas boy Daniel was able to tease and fluff even blindfolded. Heh. Dee used a razor, and man, her model deserves props for sitting still through it all – but it pays off because she nails the first Shortcut Challenge win.
They’re all lined up from best to worse, with Oshun in last place and he says the best always finish last. Did someone read him the right rules for this whole competition thing? He says he’s deep, but I think I’ve dimples in my thighs that are deeper then Oshun.
They go to their house, oohing and ahhing and trying to find the bitch of the house (me me me! it’s me!) Next day, Jaclyn introduces them to the gayest accent that ever lived, Rene Fris. Don’t get me wrong, I love me my gays, but that accent SLAYS me. Seriously. He doesn’t judge, only mentors, blah blah blah.
Next challenge – the models have pictures of a celeb, and they want hair like said celeb. The catch? They’re all cartoon characters. Yeah, I wish I were kidding, but I’m not – its all there from Marge Simpson to Wilma Flinstone to totally 80s Jem. This aughta be good. They’re competing for immunity, and to stay on the show, of course. There’s at least one hair model giving someone pains, because she doesn’t want something outrageous. Maybe she shouldn’t be a hair model then.. She’s giving Nicole fits because she won’t let her color her hair, but settles for Jem-esque highlights.
A lot of smack talk and color later, it’s time for the Hair Show, which is a lot like the gun show, only not. Hah. Want to see the hair? Here ya go – after the cut!
Jaclyn declares Nicole, Parker, Meredith, Dee, Glenn and Paolo safe but not genius. We’re left with two Marges, two Lucy’s and two Wilmas. After more discussion, Daniel is declared the winner, and our deep Oshun is washed out.
