Dear….

Dear little men with pick axes banging repeatedly at the base of my skull, and the plegm filling my sinuses,

This is your eviction notice. Due to repeated health code violations, you are hereby  commanded to vacate the premises immediately. Don’t make me call the Doctor on your arse, cuz I will. Really. Just pack your snot and leave! Got it? Good.

Dear children of mine,

You are working my last nerve. Seriously. I don’t CARE if your almost 14 – that smart mouth of yours is going to be introduced to a virtual clue-by-four if your not careful. I don’t care if your sick! So am I! This does NOT give you reason to pick up ONE thing and declare the living room clean, at which time you promptly put said thing BACK ON THE FLOOR instead of away where it goes. And just because you are smaller then the other two does NOT mean you are HELPLESS. For crissakes get your own damn glass of water and quit bitching at the other two for ignoring your request! AND! Do Not yell at them for pushing YOUR feet off of THEIR legs. ALL OF YOU keep your damn appendages TO YOURSELF.

And if I hear “i’m not touching you! Stop! Leave me alone! I didn’t DO it!” one more time? I’m locking you ALL up in a barrel and feeding you through a small tube.

When you turn 18 – i’ll plug up the tube.

Sincerely,

The GODDESS of this here DOMAIN.
AKA MOM.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.