Sigh.

I don’t know.

I get grabbed out of the blue today and asked what kind of problem I have, because I have been offensive and abrasive and obviously have some problem with this person.

blink.

News to me – as really, I feel the same way about said person as I always have and as far as I can tell had not been acting any differently toward them. Mainly – they’re someone I know, but not someone I’d trust. Too flighty, too…. off the wall, too fucking confusing. *shrugs* but hey – they say it’s cool, whenever they feel I’m being offensive next time they’ll just respond in kind. Lovely – oh and let’s please keep in mind that I talk to this person like. once a month.

So I’m like gee – D, th’fuck? And he says well, you’ve been grumpier then usual, been meaning to ask you about it, remind me later, and poof he was gone. Well then.

Am I going to remind him? No.

Then there’s the whole conversation of a while back where I was called all sorts of names and told that she wouldn’t bother me EVER again because I’ve been SUCKED into some vortex that she just doesn’t geel comfortable again and she’s sorry if that doesn’t come across right (uh – just how AM I supposed to take that?) but that’s the way she feels.

Then the next day, she’s acting like nothing ever happened, even going so far as to start calling me ‘my love’ and professing her undying affection. Excuse me? less then 24 hours before I was the scum of the earth…

And so now I’m sitting here, and have been for a while, doing the whole paranoid everyone hates me thing. The whole why do I even bother why am I here thing, wrapped up in for fucks sake people can’t -I- have the same break I give all of you? Can’t I get the chance to just not feel well, not have a good day, be a moody fuck like the rest of you pricks without being ‘offensive’?

Fuck that shit. I’m sick of it. My world does not revolve around you people and your little snitty attitudes. I do not have to cater to your whims. I do NOT have to forgive and forget and let you stomp all over me. I don’t have to do shit to you little words on a screen.

You. Don’t. Own. Me.

I don’t share with you guys anything going on in my life because all you do is tell me to just fix it – maybe I just wanted to vent and have someone say “man, i’d feel that way too. Sucks.” Any ranting or venting I do is cut into in the middle to let you bitch about not having someone to rp with (uh – when I’m sitting right there. But that’s a different thing all together) or about your OWN rant. Well you know what? You arrogant shits? I’m not here to cater to your good moods anymore. Maybe I never was. Find some other patsy to stroke your already inflated egos.

Because I’m done.

I got other shit to worry about. Like taking care of my kids. Like keeping my house. Like attempting to get my family on vacation. Like making sure my electric doesn’t get turned off. Like keeping up my 4.0 in school, while working full time on sites and actually earning money. While keeping my family together.

SO i’m not going to stroke your ego. I’m going to continue to get pissed off when people say that public ridicule is the cure for obesity. I’m going to continue to get pissed off when you make jokes about child molestation. I’m going to continue to be who I am.

If you don’t like it – stuff it.
If you can’t handle it – walk away.
If you walk away? you never were the people I thought you were anyway and I’m better off without your ass.

I’m tired. I’m sick. And most of all, I’m sick of being your fucking doormat.

So bite me.
/rant.