Gonfa-wha? The Tale of a Sleepless Night.

So, here’s how it all went down. I mentioned a while ago that I was looking for a new server, and well I’d been kinda puttering around about it, because I couldn’t decide. I needed something that could handle multiple domains and sites, that was cheaper, but more stable then the people I’ve been using for years. Nothing wrong with the people I’d been using, except that they’ve been creaping slower and slower and no one was answering emails AND they’ve attempted to take something in excess of 75 bucks out of my paypal account this month. Money that I do not owe, and don’t HAVE in said account, so it keeps getting bounced. And they’ve yet to reply to my email, which flat out pissed me off.

So. I started a $$ transfer into my paypal account, and began to search in earnest. FINALLY I thought “well doh, Lessa you idiot, check WordPress.org and see if they have any recommendations!” And there, right on top, was bluehost. I was a little skeptical, of course, because oh! the plan! it is SHINEY! and I had seen the same kinda shiney but BIGGER at Dreamhost, but oh! their forums and support blog! riddled with problems! And I wasn’t sure how much I’d wait! Because invariably, I’d get stuck on the box with ALL THE PROBLEMS- Because that, my friends, is just how I roll.

(note to self: late night viewings of Pimp My Ride and other assorted MtV shows are not necessarily a GOOD THING. Stick to the food channel and tlc for heavens sake!)

OK, So, back to bluehost. The offer: 6 domains, 30gb space, 750gb bandwidth and toys. Lots and lots of toys. I was tempted, because oh! so! SHINEY! But then came the problem of – domain transfer, or brand new base domain, and what to do! And if the other domains could have their own ftp/email etc. And if there were enough subdomains (50! Whoo!) and databases (50! whoo!) and if I could manage to pull off a giant switch with little to no downtime (….debatable. Please remember that I AM blond under all the hair color!)

So, I opted for a new domain name. I’ve been ReachTheColors since 98 or so, and while I love the name, I thought maybe something else to do with Colors would suffice. So began the search. A search that took DAYS. I searched the thesaurus.com for words associated with color. My favorits (Myriad, plethora) were taken in all their forms. i was very close OH SO CLOSE to going with “lessas-place” because I was losing my flair for imagination! And then… there it was, under colors… “Standard, Banners, Gonfalon”

Do I need to tell you how the word Gonfalon jumped out at me? Really! Say it. Roll it around your tongue, say it with different emphasis on different syllables! GONfalon… GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONfalon. GonFAAAAAAAAAAHlon. GonfaLOOOOOOOON! See? Fun to say! And I really blame it’s jumping out at me on Mei because SHE has me reading George RR Martin, and they march everywhere with Standards and Banners – which is to say GONFALONS! (Seriously. SO FUN TO SAY!) So I decided. It’d be Gonfalon.org – org because well, heh. .com and .net was taken. heh. But the shiney .org BEGGED for me to press it, caress it, hold it, TAKE IT FOR MY VERY OWN!

So, we have a chosen name! We have a chosen host! What remains to be seen is if… if… they’re support live chat people could answer a few very confused questions from a blond who colors her hair blue!

Enter Nathan B.
Nathan B. understands Blond.
Nathan B. has a little hint of humor, something I resolved right away to uncover completely.
Nathan B. Turned the tide. BlueHost it is!

So! Since I was getting the new domain (FREE! for Life of Contract! And AVAILABLE within MINUTES. How the hell did they pull THAT off? Impressed, I was!) I could open the site right away and begin transfer of my journal. A transfer that according to WordPress.org was as SIMPLE as copying the database, and reuploading everything and importing said database.

But WordPress.org has never met the likes of coding inepitude that is Lessa!

The export went well. The import… whoops, what’s that? I BROKE THE NEW SITE ALREADY? um. Uh oh. There. We’ll just delete that and pretend it NEVER HAPPENED. Whew. All better.

Now, the Database Import… AW CRAP! I broke it AGAIN! WTF? Enter Nathan B. It has been, naturally, a mere hour since we began our relationship! Surely he missed me already! I sheepishly told him what I had done, and what was wrong, and he said “Hrm. Maybe we should ban you!” And I was all “NOOOOO! I WILL CRY!” and he was all “Ok. Just this once then. I shall fix it for you!” And I knew then, Nathan B. and I would become friends, as he fixed all the little coding snafus that I am capable of.

Me and Nathan B, traipsing through the Support Live Chat (available 24-7, dontcha know!) in blissful comraderie….

Clearly, at this point, I should have GONE TO BED TO SLEEP. Did I? oh HELL no. That would have been SMART, and we are speaking of the blond who had ALREADY BROKEN the new site. TWICE!

So, We begin the work again, and this time, things seem to be going ok, until I followed the “Let wordpress do the hard work for you!” instructions on moving and promptly BROKE MY OLD SITE. And couldn’t get BACK IN to FIX it. Eclat was forwarding to the new domain, and it wasn’t set up completely yet, and it was BROKEN and I was SAD and oh so DETERMINED to fix it before I slept!

Enter many forays into the SCARY SCARY world of sql. Fixing. and breaking. And fixing again. Knowing I’d fixed it the way it SHOULD BE and WHY WASN’T IT WORKING? So I set it up on the new server, but it wasn’t reading the imported database and I couldn’t figure out WHY! It was all configured! It was all Right! It was all…

…pointing to the incorrect table preffix.

Um. Whoops.

So! At the hour of 0(hmygoditsEARLY)5:30 am, I switched TWO LETTERS and the new site, here, worked MIRACULOUSLY well, and FAST! oh! the lack of lagging nearly made me SWOON. Seriously people, SWOONAGE was IMMINENT!

At that point it was just stupid to go to bed until the kids got up and went to school. So I uploaded a front page for the domain, and started the ever HUGE job of downloading backups. Here’s hoping the moving of Nana Moosie’s domain (Which includes her journal, and Auntie Ladybug’s journal, AND Darlin’s journal), TBF’s domain (I won’t even go INTO how many journals he has!) my work site, AND a client’s site (which will nicely and tidily use up all my domains, but not even touch on my space allotment) – Hear’s hoping it all goes MUCH EASIER then the transfer of my own. *chuckles*

If not…. As River would say? Bullet in the brainpan, SQUISH!