Hold on to your hats – cuz the excitement round here, it just never stops. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and…

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today, in this corner of the blogaverse, where we are not not at all jealous of the Black Living Room With The Humongous TV AND Living Tivo Ala Schnozz, not at All, to mourn the passing of the last of our dearly loved Free Televisions.

[Yes. Free. As in stolen from a friend we borrowed it from and never saw fit to give it back because one – he joked it was a birthday present and two – HELLO he moved out and left half his shit in my garage and WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU JARHEAD come get your SHIT outa my GARAGE or I will SELL THE MOTORCYCLE! assuming I ever cleaned out the garage enough to GET to it. Ahem. I digress]

Last night, just 1.5 hours before Survivor, The Free TV let out a POP, followed by a SIZZLE and ending with a high pitched WHINE of the “OMFG what the hell IS that make it STOP” variety. It’s picture – steadily clear through years of abuse where a certain person who shall remain nameless (ok, me) who never ever took it out of the entertainment center while moving it, thus subjecting it to much leaning and many yelling fits of OMFG how heavy ARE you and WHY must you be so HEAVY – not to mention the time we connected the cable up backwards and cursewords were heard. loudly. where was I before this monumental digression? ohyeah – It’s picture went black, giving up the ghost with nary a fight. With a sigh, when we couldn’t turn it off and make the high pitched squeeling stop, but had to unplug it instead, we had to admit that it was indeed, dead jim.

I’m (a doctor, not a mechanic!) not a doctor – OR an TV repairman. There was no fixing it, if I could even figure out what was wrong. My dignostic skills are limited to “…it doesn’t turn on. it’s broken” and I’m ok with that.

So. I mentioned it was just 1.5 hours before survivor, yes? Yes. So! knowing that I had but a few moments to 1. figure out how to get the even OLDER tv down from it’s place atop the old fridge in the Manspace (….insert Alaskan redneck joke of your choice HERE…) without breaking it – or me – and into the house where I could indulge my unhealthy addiction to reality tv before ER came on which i COULD NOT MISS because HELLO is the BABY gonna be OK? GAH!

Ahem. So. Older tv? HEAVIER then my CAR. It remains on top of the old fridge. Broken TV? Rolled out (the barrels! roll out the barrels of FUN!) to rest in piece by the garbage can in hopes someone will pick it up and dispose of it.

So. Knowing it is soon the OH SO HAPPY BEST DAY OF THE YEAR for Alaskans next week when we get our Dividends, and having just found out I won’t have a housepayment until Nov. 1st, instead of Oct. 1st, that meant I had a little tiny bit of money to play with and OFF to fred meyers I went. Shopping makes everything better. Course, i couldn’t afford a really big tv (but oh! I drooooled!) and the one I did get is smaller, but it has the definite plus of actually WORKING. IT also has a built in DVD/VHS too.

Now – can anyone tell me WHY the vhs spits out tapes instead of playing them? or recording on blank tapes? making the tv completely turn off? Because if I could actually RECORD survivor now when i’m not going to be home – I’d be a completely happy woman.

And not at all jealous of you TIVO having peoples when we don’t HAVE tivo OR dvr from our cable company here in BFE alaska so SHUT UP ABOUT THE TIVO already you freaks!

Ahem. I mean. Any suggestions? Please and thank you!

Also. that is not dust. It’s. Um. Uh. Well. Little happy microspocpic bunnies cavorting happily along the edges of my entertainment center. Yes.

ETA: Called the manufacturer, who said to rebox and take it back. I did so, and due to the pup’s AMAZING artwork on the box, they were going to switch boxes – but then the kid decided it was too much effort. *L* So – replacement tv, sad pup who must redraw on the new box, and everything works….

however – did anyone see where I put the back to the remote while I was putting in the batteries? cuz um. I can’t find it now. *L*