Drink Alert!

Put em down people – it’s Days of our PreTeens!

The Girl: So! Guess what happened in Science!
Me: Uh… you got to dise..
The Girl: A BOY!
Me: You got to disect a BOY?
The Girl: That’d been cool, because most boys look like frogs, so why not treat them like them. Well really, they look like pigs and act like pigs but thats SO NOT THE POINT even though my friend A has a pencil that has picture of girl/pig/girl/pig and it says under it ‘girl boy girl boy but again NOT THE POINT and no, no disecting boys. (Clearly, she’s inherited her love of ‘asides’ from me.)
Me: *Suspicious* So, what about this boy?
The Girl: He FLIRTED with me. See, he’s the one I beat in the Geography bee and he said he hated me but now he says he don’t hate me no more.
Me: (thinkin – and there’s our F in language arts in plain view…) Ahha. And what’s this boys name, Mairiah? (Yes, that’s her name, as long time readers know, and it’s very important to point out againnow for the purposes of this story..)

TheGirl: Cary.

Me: ……
Me:…….
Me:……. (gives up) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

—

Clearly – this is a boy she can NEVER DATE. Because I? Could never, EVER, introduce them with a straight face. EVER. “This is Mairiah and *snort chortle* Cary.” Just. No. So Bad. So WRONG.