Posts by Lessa:
Life with PepperMist
I’m the first to admit that when it comes to my kids? I got DAMN lucky. They’re mostly good kids, and I actually ENJOY hanging out with them, most of the time. I’d like to take all the credit, but I’m not sure if I can – I just know that as their Mother it’s my right to do so. Hee.
Life with PepperMist, my 14 year old, is a never ending session of snarky fun and laughter and many, many days where I just shake my head and wonder. As amusing as I like to think I am, I couldn’t have possibly been as funny as my middle child.
For instance – here’s a few of the conversations we’ve had lately:
PepperMist: Don’t throw that fork at me!
Me: (tosses – laughing) You’ve been FORKED!
PM: AHH!
Me: (tosses more) And Spooned! And CANNED! And you DESERVE it!
PM: No! It wasn’t me! (grabs an empty picture frame) I’ve been FRAMED!
Me: … you win.
PepperMist: So, I have this theory…
Me: Uh oh…
PM: They say you are what you eat, right?
Me: Sure…
PM: Well if THAT’s true, than aren’t we all cannibals?
Me: …wha?!
PM: Because I am a people, my friends are people, you I’m not so sure about, your an anomaly – but if to become a people we must eat people, by definition we are cannibals.
Me: … you win.
PepperMist: So, my teacher asked me today HOW to tell the difference between informal and formal speech. I told him it was easy.
Me: Oh? Do tell…
PM: (takes on a very bad British accent) If it makes you want to read like this, then, good sir, it is most obviously and positively Formal Speech!
Me: … absolutely.
Peppermist: (reading over my shoulder) Who’s Mindy?
Me: A friend.
PM: You haven’t mentioned her much yet, she must be a NEW imaginary friend!
Me: She wears a white coat, and is coming to take you away!
PM: to DISNEYLAND? the happiest place on EARTH?
Me: uh. no?
PM: WAIT! Is she a serial killer? because if she’s coming to take me away, I really don’t think I could go with someone that Kills Cereal. I love my fruit loops too much!
Me: …
PepperMist: My hatred of feet has risen to a new level!
Me: …oh?
PM: Yes. My Anti-Foot Fetish is so bad that I’m going to CONVERT TO THE METRIC SYSTEM!
Me: …
PepperMist: I have decided that I am a Zombie! BRAAAAAAAINS. I’m gonna eat your BRAAAAA…wait. Sorry, forgot about your “condition”
Me: Excuse me?
PM: (HEAVESIGH) Blond Brainlessness. Absolutely NO NUTRIENTS there.
Me: … Poor child. Just remember the Zombified apple does not fall far from the tree…
Me to Mindy: Not a court in the world would convict me.
Mindy: She’s a Zombie. You can’t get in trouble for killing the undead.
Me: GOOD POINT!
PepperMist: Noooooooooooooo! I’m meeeeeltinggggg!
Me: That’d be the wicked witch, not a zombie.
PepperMist: Oh, in that case, YOU’RE meeeeeeelllllllllltinnnnnng!
Me: …
Now, don’t you wish you lived at MY house?
Easter Surprises…
So, I think I’m sufficiently recovered from my Ham and Chocolate coma to write about it now. (No not at the same time, the chocolate and ham, as that’s not really the same as chocolate covered bacon, which is surprisingly delicious no matter how gross it sounds. I would know, as my Mama gave me […]
Week Two Roundup!
WHEW! Things are movin right along, and we’re already into week three! If you missed any of the action last week – here’s a lil taste of the torture we inflicted upon our houseguests! (What? They like it!) You see, my lovely co-host, Michelle, back at another game in another place was ousted (by ME! […]
Time
Time is a weird thing. I often find myself wishing that I’d taken more time to record every little detail, every minute of every day that we had together, that the kids and I spend together now. It’d be so much easier to remember if I had reams and reams of papers and stacks of […]
The best call…
** I get a lot of text messages and phone calls from my kids, and also “my” kids. They text or call to check in, or just to say hi, they call for rides and pickups and to let me know where they are, and they call when they need money. Not all of them, […]
