Busywork

today was the day I spent going around and paying bills. i got a lot paid off, thanks to the generosity of those donating funds to help me do so. The worst part was that I just didn’t feel… I don’t know. confident. usually it’s all walk in, pay bill, banter a bit, walk out. Today it was unsettling. Like I was alittle lost or something. The day started with blockbuster calling to ask for Kevin, since the account was in his name. That was probably why. So while I was paying things, I went and had his name removed from the accounts so that I wouldn’t get anymore local surprises like that agian.

The one bill I didn’t pay yet is the cell phone because I’m going to switch companies that I deal with. Why? because the assholes were rude to my mom when she called to get a total due, etc. They were total dicks, and they’e been that way to me too, so fuck’em. Soon as I have the new cell phone (their computer was being worked on today, so have t wait until tomorrow to get the app done. My phone already has my name on it though! is PRETTY!) connected and working and in my possession, i’m taking kevin’s in and telling them to kiss my fat white ass. I’ll not put up with people being rude to my momma! *gr* ESPECIALLY under the circumstances that she called under. assholes.

mmmmmmm mexican night for dinner tonight! Smells good!

TBF isn’t going to make it up – it just got to be too much of a money hassle and such for 2 days time. So We’re postponing that and he’ll come up in the spring/early summer and we’ll have a week or so where I can actually show him around and it’ll be that much more meaningful to have him here and show him Alaska.

So. hanging in there. I feel vaguely unsettled by some on my blogroll who are so adament about championing the victims of Katrina. Yeah, it’s devistating and I feel for them, but in the wake of my own tragedy? I can’t be roused to feel anything other then “that’s too bad.” I don’t think that makes me a bad person, and I don’t think I need to obsess about the problems and such dealing with the aftermath of Katrina. So many others are doing that just fine. So yeah. Anyway.

Sorta lost my train of thought again. Dinner’s done.

Let there be light..

Papa got tired of hitting his head on my broken chandelier in the dining room, which is also my office. I’ve learned over the years to sidestep it automatically, but well, poor papa is quite a bit taller then me too, and hit his head every single time. It was always something that was on […]

Two down, one to go.

The Memorial service was today, and I sat there through it thinking “Man, he’d have gotten a fuckin kick outa this…” The local lodge of Elks ran the services for him, and held their traditional Elks goodbye. the nice thing was that I didn’t have to do a thing, and he’d have just flat out […]

Cold and quiet

The viewing was hard. I knew it would be, and had been psyching myself up for it from the time i woke up till the time we got there. There was no way to prepare for it though, as it was just.. so… real. He looked like he was sleeping, but different. There was a […]

Ugh.

They are trying to kill me with papercuts! So. Much. Paperwork and burocratic bullshit! It’s insane. Mom’s been a doll and shuttled me from gov’t office to gov’t office to the store to the funeral home and listened and touched and stood strong while I answered question after question and made appointment after apointment and […]