Odd Dreams
Really fucked up dream – it just kept continuing everytime I woke up and went back to sleep. TBF says that happens when the subconscious is trying to work on something – but WHAT? *L* so.. we save it here for posterity:
Asshole was home – and all his friends showed up to clean out the garage – one with a miniature garbage truck even… T was there, some other little latino guy, and the girl with the garbage truck (not familiiar)..
They like swept out everything from the garage – threw EVERYTHING (even the pile of laundry which had me screaming at T because I only had what I was wearing at the moment left) away, t pointed out where he’d placed the laundry, we were slow dancing in the garage (who knows – it was a dream)
the other latino loaded up his truck, Asshole jumped in, and as they were driving away I saw two little heads poke out of the garbage can – laughing, and asshole and the little latino laughing too and waving.. the pup and nephew were riding in the garbage can and everyone seemed to think it was fine – t held me back so I couldn’t go after them.
I grabbed the phone, had to leave a voice mail on the girl in the dumptruck’s phone because she didn’t have it on, telling them to at Least buckle the kids in and bring them right back home – they ahd stowaways…. no answer, no return call.
that was the first wake up…
then when went back to bed, it started again, and still no kids – but no asshole either, so assumed he had them. ultra slow mo – nothing really happened everyone moving normally, but just a passage of time… that was the when asshole called to wake me up again
then in the last hour – I finally freak out cuz its been like 6 hours, and Asshole shows up without the kids “dunno waht your talking about, they’re here with you.” and I go BALLISTIC… call Jen – find out the little latino had dropped off timothy, but no one has seen the pup, I slam out, dialing 911, scream at asshole to find the “goddamn little spic and get my fucking daughter back you piece of shit” Mom hears this and heads my way -jen is somehow there playing baseball with timothy and still no pup, T runs down the street toward the latino’s place, then asshole comes STORMING back from the latino’s place, saying that the guy hadn’t seen the pup at all.., hops in the VW bug that’s oddly the highth of a jacked up pickup, I climb in he doesn’t wait until I’m in or my mother who’s coming with us, almost hits her with the car, I get in and into the backseat, mom is climbing in….Assholes already moving..
…I get pounced by the pup who’s home from church and telling me I shouldn’t be sleeping. *shakes head* so there ya go.
And there ya go.
Lyrical Aside – Ani Defranco
Bite me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Grey)
the sky is grey
the sand is grey
and the ocean is grey
and i feel right at home
in this stunning monochrome
alone in my way
i smoke and i drink
and every time i blink
i have a tiny dream
but as bad as i am
i’m proud of the fact
that i’m worse than i seem
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i’ve got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore
you walk through my walls
like a ghost on tv
you penetrate me
and my little pink heart
is on its little brown raft
floating out to sea
and what can i say
but i’m wired this way
and you’re wired to me
and what can i do
but wallow in you
unintentionally
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i’ve got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore
regretfully
i guess i’ve only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that’s grey
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i’ve got everything i want
and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
she laid down in her party dress and never got up
needless to say she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck
she was wincing like something brittle
trying hard to bend
she was numb with the terror
of losing her best friend
but she never sees things changing
she only sees them ending
and some vicious whispering voice
keeps saying you have no choice
(slide)
~~~~~~~~
welcome to:
no amount of stoned makes you feel ok
welcome to:
this year’s alone – brought to you by christmas day
welcome to:
the darkness into which prayin people pray
it’s quiet here except for this song
now that everybody’s gone
but hey
least you don’t have to play along today
welcome to:
something like elation when you first open your eyes
just cuz it means
that you musta finally got to sleep last night
welcome to:
the precipice between groundlessness and flight
it’s quiet here except for this song
now that everybody’s gone
but hey
least you don’t have to play along today
besides which
welcome to:
taking the good stuff down off of the shelf
and welcome to:
the art of conversation with yourself
welcome to:
humming an unbroken tune
all day long
yes it’s quiet here
but hey
least you don’t have to play along today
(Welcome to)
ok
Well, since I have the new layout, lets try and catch my two faithful readers up.
The boy has already finished his basketball season – which was in a new division and a ton more fun. We kept score (only by the quarter, but scored it was!) They shot foul shots, they started getting called on 3 in the key, etc. It was a giant step up, and a good deal of fun to watch these boys we’ve seen trying to catch up with their feet since 3rd grade start to really pull it together. It was also the first time it was not co-ed teams. It was also the first time that no boy on the team missed a practice or a game unless it was completely unavoidable – might have had something to do with the fact that the coaches were High School Seniors, both who played on the local highschool girls basketball team – very cute girls. *L* The boys played their hearts out for them… It was a fast paced 6 weeks, that’s for sure (good god, how long has it been since I posted?)
The girl is currently playing her season – with one more week to go. She’s still at the younger level, and attempting to get hands and feet to work at the same time – but she’s starting to really get in there and fight for the ball, and its been great to watch her confidence grow.
The pup? Rotten as ever. I swear that girl is gonna drive me straight into a loony bin – if only to get some rest. She doesn’t stop talking. ever. she even talks in her sleep. She’s getting so big though.. its really amazing how incredibly smart she is. Even fi she says every morning she’s grown big enough she wants to play basketball too. heh.
We had my bro in law (Mr. Twister the Clown) in town for 3.5 weeks in December, and that was pretty… interesting. K came as well, and it was all sorts of angsty fighting bullshit. Exhausting. They broke up 4 times while here… and last I heard are together again down there. Go figure.
So – interesting conversations with the pup:
It’s clown day with Mr. Twister, and everyone is getting dressed. Pup hops up in daddies lap.. “You gonna dress up too?” And he says “no… I refuse to wear womens make up and clothing.”
THe pup just studies him a moment and you can just HEAR the wheels a turning.. before…. “Well. Dad. You know.
Those are Unka Cory’s clothes.
And unka Cory’s makeup.
And unka CORY is a BOY…..
and YOU’S a boy..
so you cants be no woman if’n ya wear his clothes!”
We all burst out laughing, and daddy still didn’t dress up. *chuckles*
Not long after, The Pup jumps in my lap…
“is dat TBF?”
Yup…
“HIIIIIIIII!!!”
He says hi, see?
“You KNOW TBF is My Best Friend.”
is he? I thought he was mine..
“nuUH! Mine! You go get your OWN!”
I just could only blink. swat, and laugh. I had him FIRST dammit. *L*
The girl has been pretty quiet, and the boy too. Though This puberty bullshit is for the birds! The other day though, he came up with a total gem…..
IN he walks from school, and says.. “Mom? am I to young to ask a girl on a date?”
I managed to pick up my jaw after a moment and say YEEEEEEEES! Why?
“Well, some of the boys in my class are asking girls out..”
oh? where are they taking them?
“I dunno.”
How are they getting there?
“I dunno”
Who’s paying?
“I dunno….”
So these boys are asking girls out on dates, with no place to go, no ride to get there and no money to pay…
“yeah….”
A pause… and then…
“hey mom?”
yeah?
“can I borrow 10 bucks?” bats lashes even.
NOOOOOOOOO! *laughing*
“ok. so I’m to young…”
Yeaaaaaah… but who would you have asked if I had said yes?
“Ch…..*blush*”
Ahha.. thought so. Well – tell you what. If you and a bunch of your friends – boys AND girls, want to get together and do some group activity… meet at the movies, go bowling, something… then P and I will make sure you and Ch… get there, ok?
“Cool mom! thanks!… uh… can I tell Ch… is a date when I ask her though?”
NOOOOO! *dies laughing*
he won’t even be 11 until frigging MARCH. I am SO not ready for this shit. *LMAO* and the girl? completely silent on the talk of boys……… but writes in her diary religiously. *smirks* and already having phone calls with her girl friends that consists of mainly giggles and shhhhhh’s! and yelling at her brother to quit listening in. *L* Oy. vey. I am so not ready for this at ALL.
That pretty much brings you back up to date. I think. kinda. not really. *chuckles* but hey – its all good, right? right.
Slogans!
A glorious time waster, thanks to Ren! (yes, I’ve said that before. *L* I’ll probably say it again, too. Anyway.)
In realization that I have had an online journal (no matter how.. er.. occasional… its been lately.. *shrugs* sorry.) for 3 years now.. I have used the wonderful Slogan Generator for you’re advertizing pleasures. It has come up with such lovely gems as the following:
Lessa saves your soul.
Lessa! It’s whats for dinner!
Lessa-licking good!
Where do you want your Lessa to go today?
Because Lessa is complicated enough…
It’s that Lessa feeling.
The Lessa goes straight to your head…
With a name like lessa? it has to be good!
A Lessa’s wet without one…
There is only one Lessa
Try Lessa, you’ll like it.
The coolest Lessa on ice
Come to life. Come to Lessa.
New years resolution seems to be working out well. I’ve painted on my happy face, and everyone is happy. *smile*<- see? So far, so good. I suppose. *shrugs* not like it matters anyway. *smile* <- getting good at it.
Happy New Year!
Last night was the most exciting new years eve ever!
not.
But it was ok for the most part. The kids were certain they could stay up all night and so I let them try. We watched the ball drop on ABC an hour early – but they din’t buy the fact that meant they had to go to bed. *chuckles* So then we watched the Vegas show on Fox and looked for a friend who was supposed to do his darndest to get on camera (have a sneaking suspicion that he was the guy they said was running around in his underwear…hehe) but we didn’t see him – but counted down, kids the kdis and sent them to bed.
The pup ALMOST made it. ALMOST.
She fell asleep in my lap at 11:45. *chuckles* poor thing didn’t even notice when I put her to bed.
I did my shot at 9, at 11, and at midnight. Had 4 smirnoffs – realized when I stood up to put the pup to bed I was drunker then I thought.. then read for a while and went to bed.
Oh the excitement.
Can’t figure out if I’m just feeling old… or if it was because I was sick, or that I just didn’t have anywhere else to go, but it worked fine for me. Read my book for about an hour, and went to sleep.
Already in trouble with mom – I didn’t call her last night. course, she ALWAYS sleeps int the new year – how was I to know she stayed up? *LOL* All in good fun of course.
I know I’ve not been keeping up with writing – but really haven’t had anything to say. Keeping a lot of stuff locked away, and hiding others. It’s just not. not worth it really, to let it all out right now.
Would just make shit worse, anyway. So – I’ll just keep ti to me, and my two loyal readers will understand. Right girls? *smile* I’ll be back to my many words of nonsense in time, i’m sure. It’s my new years resolution, after all – forgetting what everyone else thinks, not caring that I don’t exist to them.
Because I exist to me.
And that’s what is important.
And if i keep saying it – I may someday believe it.
Happy New Year girls.
(oh – and any new dolls will be added here: http://reachthecolors.com/dolls/ *grin*)
